A Survey on Goals: Why Does Everyone In Your Office Want To Drive The Same Car?
By Chris Dowgin
What are your goals?
Goals are something we put out in front of ourselves to reach one day. But who sets our goals. If someone else had set them for you to reach, should you attain them or another. If they belong to another why should you ever reach those goals, they are not for you. But the more we try the more disheartened we become. In this case our failures are our saviors. They, our failures, are there to prevent us from living an inauthentic life living out some one else's goals. They are there to keep us from living some one else's life. So who has set your goals?
Now if we have set our own goals, and we find ourselves not there yet; there is still something for us to learn yet so we may access them. It is like getting a pair of running shoes before you have learned to crawl. Even holding onto those sneakers for the future would be no good. By then your feet would have out grown them. The secret is in the symbol on the shoe. Victory comes from just doing it. As long as you are in the process of your life, all is fine. But if you are putting off what you deserve for another day, it might never come.
One of my Grandfather's goals was to work hard and retire, so he could enjoy life later. He was one of the first State Troopers in the country back in New Jersey. He Served under General Schwarskophf's father for many years as the head of traffic safety. Now every day before and after his shift at the barracks he would farm his tree nursery to save that money for the good life when he retired. As he bent over and felt the strain in his back from balling another tree, his thoughts went to the future enjoyment he would receive. As he bent over a second time and felt the strain in his back from balling just another tree, the thoughts of all the time he would have later in life to play golf and travel would sustain him. Well he retired right on schedule and he became ill. I knew him most of my life as the Grandfather who rarely left his bedroom who could not stand loud noise. A man who held a lot of authority in his youth had no voice in his maturity. He had his larynx removed. But besides that I still do not know why he never left his room and his bed? I can not recall any other ailments he had. Only thing I can imagine is that his life had left him before his body did. Too many years of being ignored. Life was always something to behold later and not in the moment. Another one of his goals was to provide for his family? So he would work long hard hours and be on call at all hours of the night. Then in the morning be out in the field alone until he had to be at the barrack once again. He escorted rich widows from the grocery store and back, paraded and protected presidents such as Wilson and Roosevelt, Solved the Palisades Heights Murder, and was in Society column next to the Dows, the Vanderbuilts, and Rockefellers. He was always away from his family providing for them. Now as my Father looks back on him, he can not remember much about him until he got sick. At that point it was not hard to nail him down for a good game of Gin. But thirty years had slipped by. Yes, my Father's house was paid for in the first five years thanks to my Grandfather's savings, but I think my Father would of much preferred much more of his time a bit earlier.
Is it Too late to reassess? No it never is, but it is harder the longer you wait. Because the behaviors over our life time solidify and begin to be set in their own ways. Caught in time the old dog of your inner life can indeed be taught new tricks. One of the most popular afflictions is an incorrect understanding of ones social duty or Dharma. In Norse Mythology Tir, the god of the generals and the symbol of masculinity, is represented by an upright arrow. When this Rune is pulled it is a call for assertive energy to be called into play. It is asking for you to be assertive in a healthy and balanced fashion to strive for the peak of strength and creativity in your life. To charge your batteries to their full capacity. To come full round and gain your happiness in the moment and peak your personal wonder. The crux of the issue is this, once you at the peak of your knowledge, wealth, or happiness; you must perform the return.
"Half way through the journey of our lives, I came to myself in a dark wood and found that I had lost the true way."Dante; Divine Comedia
Now the Return is expressed by Plato returning his character to the cave with the light, Frodo coming back to free the Shire of bandits, and Prometheus returning with his torch. To take everything you have learned, experienced, felt, or gained and give it freely in a wise fashion. It does not mean to empty your bank account and give it to the first homeless man you see, for that might not be what he needs to progress. He might just take all of that money and lose it on the horses. He might of just needed some one to share a bologna sandwich and an ear to listen, simple justification of his existence. Now if you handed him your king's ransom, you might be sharing the same refrigerator box! So give wisely of yourself, but do give. For Tir calls for you to never expire your future potential strength but to always give your kinetic strength. It is kind of like trying to provide the neighborhood with fresh eggs after you had roasted the hen.
There once was a man who had been a man working for Civil Engineering during the Roosevelt's public works days, who upon retiring taught at Boston College free of charge to the incurring immigrants in his spare time. One of his students moved to Jersey and was responsible for the creation of what is commonly called a "Jersey Barrier", which as fate would have it kept that professor alive and prevented him from leaping into oncoming traffic in the Sumner Tunnel entering Boston when his tire exploded. Now that is Dharma correctly lived. That is Social Duty played out well.
So as you come home from work at the end of a seventy hour week and Junior wants to play catch and you barely have enough energy to lift your brief case unto the table, what was it that Junior really needed? Was it your wealth, knowledge, concern, time, understanding, compassion, Love, friendship, or laughter? Or D, all of the above. In a well balanced fashion. Some times we are just doing exactly what our parents had done for us without knowing any better. Sure, we say " I'll never do that to my children!" We all exceed our parents mark. But how far off was theirs in the first place. We need to know this to truly understand where that balance is in life. For we all must be that Professor, friend, or father to all through out our whole life..
When we smile the whole world smiles with us, Yes it is a corny phrase, but it is same as when Christ had said in the Gospel of Thomas "..Lift that stone and there I am." For you and me are the same person and the same essence as that stone. Much like your finger is part of your hand which is in part of yourself. As Christ was the Son of God and at the same time God himself, we shall also be the Alpha and the Omega. But then again your finger is still your finger. Now again, if that finger of yours is cut by a rusty nail and your tetanus shot has expired? Left to its own, can kill the rest of the organism. In Ancient Rome, they let the middle class dissolve into poverty thinking they can retain the wealth in the higher echelons of the few. Now the tax base dwindled down to close to nothing and the infrastructure collapsed. Before they had 6% of millions of citizens, but now was reduced to 6% of the wealthiest thousand. Also when a Plebe in a distant outskirts coughed on a traveling merchant, well when all roads lead to Rome it is not hard to see how the plague reached up into the Senate.
About The Author
Chris Dowgin has been a life coach for twenty years counseling people and propietor of his own Artistic company Norgeforge.
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