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Can You Handle Deferred Success?
By John Halderman
Are you willing to fail to the point of success?
No! Well you should be.
Failure is what leads to success; it is proof of action. All your efforts that lead to failure should be praised and rewarded, for they are moving you in the direction of the success.
In all areas of life, the people who are forging ahead with progress are the ones willing to fail, because they know enough failures lead to success. They know that success is just being deferred with each failure, not prevented.
The only way to surely fail is to stop attempting. If you fail twice and give up, you can now be sure you will not succeed. But you are the one placing the guarantee on it not the situation.
The key is to just keep going.
Thomas Edison sought failure eagerly, he knew with each failure he was a little closer to a solution. The faster he failed, the sooner he got to the prize.
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - - Winston Churchill
When the results don't come out as you want it's time to review what transpired then determine a new adjusted plan of action.
There is a success called plan called, plan, do, review, which is self explanatory and simple. But this basic process repeated over and over will bring you closer and closer to the intended result. Implement this simple process I everything you do and you will see two things. You will start to embrace the natural process of discovery and understanding, and you will see success.
Fear is one of our worst enemies when it comes to success. In two ways many people allow fear to defeat them.
One, the fear of failure right from the beginning prevents them from even get started. They are so concerned about what could possibly go wrong that even getting started is too hard. Second, they allow the fear of continual failure to become stronger than their convictions and drive. They allow their fears to meld with worry to sabotage their intentions.
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure." - -Paulo Coelho
So what does it take to overcome these fears?
1- Determination--Having a very strong drive and focus on the desired result helps to keep one strong through adversity. In the classic book "Think And Grow Rich", Napolean Hill said you needed to develop a white-hot heated burning desire to succeed. When this burning desire becomes strong enough it will override the disappointments of interim setbacks, giving you the drive to persist.
2- Perception--A key trait of the people who can accept failure and forge through it, is they don't see failure as the end. Rather they look at it as a learning opportunity, a point to assess, adjust and go again. How you perceive something and interpret it determines how you allow it to effect you. And this is certainly the case with the fear of failure. The person who can continue through setbacks is one who sees them as momentary not permanent.
3- Self-concept--How you see yourself in terms of your right, ability and worthiness to be doing something can effect your confidence behind your pursuits. It is very helpful to come to a point where you know you are worthy of your desired goal. Know that you are just a worthy as anyone else and that delays and failures along the way are not signs that you don't deserve it. They are merely the means of discovery that everyone experiences. Work on yourself, develop a strong high self-esteem and you will be able to weather the storm.
If you want something bad enough you should be willing to stick with it to the point where there are no more failure options.
Failure really is a good thing. The people who fail the most win the most. I'm sure you have heard before that Babe Ruth with his home run record also holds the record for the most strikeouts. How can this be? Well, more strikeouts show more opportunities for homeruns. If he did not have all the opportunities to keep attempting home runs, he would never have hit them.
More attempts mean more strikeouts and more homeruns. Thomas Edison utilized this principle also, he was relentless and conducted experiments at a fast pace in order to get through the learning and adjusting phase quickly. He knew it was just how the process worked. There was no master conspiracy against him making things more difficult, just the natural process.
Both of these men knew that success was merely deferred, not impossible.
"Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." - -Denis Waitley
Don't get mad, don't get disappointed, just keep going.
Focus your sights in the target and don't let the failures deter you. Visualize the things that don't go according to plan as deferred success, success only delayed for a while. Don't allow failure to be guaranteed by quitting. The success is there, you just need to properly align yourself with it and this may take a few or even many attempts. Are you determined to have a resolve stronger than the setbacks?
It comes down to choice, are you going to succumb to the roadblocks or are you going to take command of your personal growth and choose to learn from the failures? Will you continue to readjust and keep going at it until you eliminate all the reasons why not?
"I believe that one of the characteristics of the human race - possibly the one that is primarily responsible for its course of evolution - is that it has grown by creatively responding to failure." Glen Seaborg - American Scientist & Nobel Laureate
Copyright 2005 John Halderman
About The Author
John Halderman, writes and speaks with intent on helping you get effective results with your personal growth. For self-improvement tools, tips and resources for living a satisfying life get the "Effective Personal Development Newsletter" and a bonus report http://www.activepersonaldevelopment.com.