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When Bad Hair Happens To Good People

By Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD

It doesn't matter who we are, a famous star or just ordinary people, we all have things that we don't like about ourselves. The meteoric rise of the cosmetic surgery industry attests to the fact that there are a lot of people who don't like something about themselves enough to pay lots of money and go through immense agony to change it. I was cursed with bad hair. I often look at those models on TV and wonder why I didn't get thick, shiny Alberto shampoo hair. But perhaps the problem isn't with hair, or whatever you don't like about yourself; perhaps we are comparing ourselves to unreal examples and focusing too much on what isn't perfect.

I was watching an interview with a super model. The interviewer asked this near perfect woman what she didn't like about herself. I was thinking, what was there not to like, but she said she didn't like her feet. She had very ugly feet and it really bothered her. At first I thought, "Oh please! Couldn't you come up with something better than that?" But the fact here was this picture perfect woman who, instead of focusing on all that she had going for her, was lamenting about her ugly feet. I saw Cindy Crawford in an interview once and they asked her what she said to people who lamented that they don't look like her. She replied, "I don't look like me without all this makeup." So, although Cindy looks perfect when we see her, it isn't without a lot of help and foundation. Jane Fonda once replied to an interviewer that asked her how she managed to stay looking so good, "I eat right, exercise and spend lots of money." So perhaps it isn't that bad hair happens to good people (or whatever you don't like about yourself). It may be that we have a lot that is really good. We are just too busy focusing on what we don't like and comparing it to unrealistic examples.

When I am honest with myself, and not obsessing about my hair, there is plenty that I have been blessed with. One big blessing is my health. I think people take their health for granted until it is too late. Trust me! Those I know with health challenges would trade their hair for my health any day. I also have amazing teeth. I was born with perfect teeth. They are white, strong and straight. People always compliment me on them and sometimes think my teeth are capped or otherwise altered, but they're mine. I also have fabulous skin. I am not sure why I have such great skin because as a young person it was not uncommon for me to spend hours on the beach soaked in baby oil laying on foil trying to get a tan. I don't tan easily, but somehow my skin survived the torture and looks great. So there really are things I have that are good, even great, but I tend to focus on what I don't like about myself, and I believe there lays the problem. Instead of focusing on what you don't like or have, focusing on what you love about yourself might just give you a different perspective.

We all have great features and we have some not so great features. But if all you ever do is focus on what you don't like, that is the only thing you are ever going to see. If instead of obsessing over whatever it is you don't like about yourself, focus on what you do like and what is good or even great about you. You are not just your hair, or nose or whatever it is you don't like. You are an entire package made up of lots of great attributes and features. Begin to focus on what you like and you will be surprised how those features will begin to become more prominent.

About The Author
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD, is a Certified Master Coach specializing in working with business owners and professionals in being more profitable and productive while staying sane and balanced. Coach Lee is the publisher of the award winning e-zine, 365 Days of Coaching. Her first book, 365 Days of Coaching - Because Life Happens Every Day (Universal Publisher, 2004) was named a finalist for Best Book 2004> and has a five star rating on Visit Coach Lee at her websites True Direction, Inc. Copyright

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