Bluebeard: A Case Study on Some Women's Dating Habits.
By Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin
Now since the ancient days of the traveling mistral or fireside Shaman, every culture around the world had storytellers that instructed youths and adults on how to find happiness when it seemed to be lost. Knowing that people sometimes can not bring claim to their problems or just will be simply bored with allot of technical jargon. So they invented fabulous stories to captivate our imaginations using the symbols that resonate deep within our minds from a time before language was ever created. The same place in a baby turtle on Galapagos Island knows to run to the ocean as fast as possible and zag or zig when it sees a shadow from above without ever seeing a hawk or gull before. Allot of tales have to do with helping a child to follow its instinct's when a care giver or parent is insufficient in his roles as a teacher or becomes just down right abusive. Under harrowing circumstances, how can a child retain what it knows to be true in its heart under such constructs. Or reshape them in the future to save their lives? As Carl Jung and the women that proceeded him; Woodman, Pinkola Estes, Von Franz; the found these stories of regained truth in the fairy Tales and Myths of the world. For your listening pleasure, I have encapsulated one as an example.
Three daughters were raised amongst their mother and father, plus two brothers. But before the youngest daughter reached puberty the father and the two brothers were sent off to war. Not to return for many years.
So it came to the time that the youngest daughter was itching for a mate. So her and her two sisters were riding in the commons on Sunday as the finest men and women paraded out and about on horseback in all their finery. When the youngest of them spied a man with a blue beard. The older sisters were taken a a back by his appearance. "Look at that Blue beard, how revolting!" said the oldest with the second oldest consented with a guffaw. But the youngest remarked he was quite striking. The sisters starred in disbelief at their sibling. The second oldest mentioned he was rumored to have been married several times. The oldest concurred and added his wives have never been heard from again. " But he is quite cute" said the youngest as she rode off to make his acquaintance.
Within the month the youngest was married and living in his castle. Now the castle with its moat is the symbol of the subconscious's. It represents the journey from your skull across the water barrier to your brain. This is where all the fun happens, if you like it or not. Because the drawbridge slams shut once you enter..
One day after a week of marriage, Bluebeard announced that he must go on a prolonged journey to pay for her luxurious room and board. A normal occurrence that happens even today, making the woman feel like she is married to a stranger. He handed her the keys to all the rooms of the castle including one small key. This was to the room she was to never enter upon. Unless desiring serious consequences to her well being. So he left and she of course checked out all the rooms. Especially the one with the little key!
When she opened that door she was taken back by a mass of congealed blood on the floor that had leaked and splattered out by all the corpses she now found lying upon the floor and nailed to the walls. Arms to the right and the heads stacked to the left. Here was all his past wives. This represents the skeletons in the closet we all have/ the problems, obstacles, and challenges we must face to get to a better life. But like she did, we find it easier just to close that door as quick as we found it. We always think we can clean out the cobwebs of the closet another day. But like Daffy Duck, every time we put things off, we get the closet emptying onto our head an avalanche.
Now the woman tries to hide the key in a cupboard. But it leaks blood onto the floor. She hides it in a pantry, but the blood gives up its location. No matter where she hid it, the blood soon gave it up. This represents the time when we see where change is needed in our lives, we can not escape or deny it. We must face it to bring change. If we do not... Bluebeard enters once again and asks for the keys. Now the cost of our mistakes get higher, and eventually may lead to death if w do not answer them. She gives him all but the one. He knows right off the bat she has been in the room. He now represents the man who is afraid of us seeing him for what he is, who wants to blind us to the truth about his abuse. For he fears change the most. He has to admit to the abuse he has received in the past and feel the guilt for the abuse he has given. If you change he must also. So he becomes quite irritate. On another level it is our own shadows who will not let us rest until we bring the change necessary to our lives. For this time it welcomes the danger into your home, for all harm that comes to you, granted under great duress, you invited in. It is the spanking that has been put off too long.
So Bluebeard chases her through the castle, our minds, with a sword ready to kill her. Her sisters appear to help her and keep a look out for her brothers coming back from war. Now since at the age of puberty, the youngest daughter had no healthy male figure in her life, she could not tell by his beard like her sisters that he was dangerous. The oldest had the father and brother to teach them what a loving man is. The youngest did not. So the return of the brothers is the healthy animus returning to save the youngest sister. So now in the distance the smoke from the dust cloud of her brothers on horseback can be seen. The sisters yell to them and they increase their pace to a full gallop. Bluebeard is ascending after his wife proclaiming " I do not want to hurt you, I just want to bash your brains in." She is almost to the top steps where her sisters sits, when the two brothers bust into the room and dispatch the blue meanie. It is never too late to have healthy men in your life to learn from. They will teach you as friends how to find a healthy mate. For the brothers come in time to slay the shadow Bluebeard and prepare the youth for a healthy marriage in the future. Now did you ever think a fairy tale could ever be that important?
Summary.... In our adolescence it is important to have a healthy sex role model to shape our construct of what a loving male or female is so we will be attracted to a healthy mate. Bluebeard is a fairy tale about what happens when this does not happen by absence or abuse by a sexual role model.
This is fairy tale interpretation. There is a story for everyone. There is no mistake that you have made that has not happened already without a story of how to solve the problem.
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About The Author
Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin is propietor of Docspond Life Coach Services (www.docspond.org) where he individual consultations, group facilitation, and key note addresses that provide mission and message to the bottom line that promotes finacial growth. Also he is owner and designer at Norgeforge Illumination Studios.