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The Biggest Block to Love, Money and Success Isn't What You Think

By Melissa Quiter

You may think that the biggest block keeping you from creating the life you want, attracting the money you desire, meeting the love of your life or working in the career that truly represents your purpose on this earth is due to limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs that you hold in these areas, lodged deeply in your subconscious mind. You may believe it is these beliefs, created when you were a baby or a child for very important and valid reasons, are now sabotaging your chance to realize what you really do want in your finances, career, relationships and overall happiness.

But you may be surprised to learn that the limiting beliefs you may hold around money, love, success and happiness actually are not the biggest blocks keeping you from creating more in each of those areas.

The beliefs you have around money, love, success and happiness absolutely can block you from realizing what you most want to create. In fact, after the biggest block, that is exactly where you look to uncover what is keeping you from creating exactly what you want in your life. However, if you are searching for the biggest block, you won't find it lodged in any of your beliefs in these areas.

Where you will find your biggest block is in a much less exciting area of your beliefs, and yet far more powerful. The truth is that your subconscious has one main primary focus. It has one responsibility, which if not done with 100% success, is literally a life and death situation. The number one role of your subconscious is to keep you alive. Bottom line, if you stop breathing or pumping blood, it doesn't really matter what else happens. Safety is the name of the game. If your safety is in jeopardy, or even perceived jeopardy, your subconscious kicks into gear and does everything it can to assist you in remaining safe.

Since the subconscious views everything you do through this filter, its first question to anything new, different or questionable is, "If I let this happen, will I be safe? Your subconscious answers that question by using the past as a gauge. This means, your subconscious looks at past events to determine if this is a good idea or bad idea based on past experiences and consequences. When you find yourself doing the same things over and over again and you ask yourself, "Why do I keep doing this? This is why. Even if something doesn't completely work for you anymore, your subconscious is comfortable with what the projected outcome will be. It feels that you are still "safe relative to living versus dying and that this is a behavior that is acceptable.

You may also have found that when you want to make changes in your life, there is a lot of resistance and fear that accompanies that intention. You may have found yourself easily slipping back into past behaviors even though the new behaviors appear to be what you want. The truth is that you aren't really sure the new behaviors are going to always be better than the past behaviors. It takes faith and courage to move forward into the unknown. Even if the potential is there for more money, love, success or happiness, the guarantee is not. And, that is sometimes very scary. It seems illogical that you would want to continue creating a life that you don't want. However, when you look at if from the perspective of safety and comfort, it makes more sense. It is far more comfortable to do things you already know how to do or to indulge in things where you already know the typical outcome. Doing new things is very uncomfortable. Again, your subconscious prefers comfort and safety because that means sustaining life.

Now, let me ask you a question. If given the choice, would you rather keep the problems and challenges you have or exchange yours with someone else's? Really think about what you would do. This same question was asked in a study of random adults. When asked, if they had the choice, would they rather keep their own problems or exchange them with someone else, the vast majority of people said they would rather keep their own problems. No matter how complicated or insidious those problems were, they were much more inclined to stick with their own problems. And one of the reasons you may want to keep your own problems is because at least you know what those problems are. You have had some of those problems or issues for a long time and you have a sense of comfort around them. What if you changed with someone and ended up with problems worse than the ones you had? That would be terrible. And that is really what is feared most when it is all said and done.

Now, apply that same thought to making changes in your life. What if you make a change and you end up with an even worse situation? Now you understand why this is the biggest block to really creating the life you desire to be living. If you allow yourself to indulge in fearing the change more than wanting the change, you stay exactly where you are. If you stay where you are, happy or not, that is what you keep creating.

So, what I have found, and what I assist my coaching clients to do, is to take the first step. It is not a step from the first rung to the top of the ladder. It is a step from the first rung to the second. There are times when you can make more drastic changes all at once, but usually, when you are resisting change, you need to give yourself the ease and safety of taking it slow and one rung at a time.

The first step is to acknowledge that you have been sabotaging yourself by not allowing yourself to make change. When you get that out in the open, you will find a release of the power your resistance had on you. Then, you must give yourself permission to begin the process of change. You must acknowledge the fear you feel and keep moving forward in finding the assistance you need to begin. There are many books, programs and people out there who can assist. There are techniques and methods and tools that allow you to create step-by-step, rung-by-rung. Begin doing your research. Find the words, the messages and the tools that resonate with you. Always acknowledge that you may be afraid, but without fear, you cannot have courage. They are a team of the most profound and life-altering kind. Every day remind yourself that you are more safe in making change that you desire, then to keep going along without exercising the real power you have to create what you most want.

Knowing that the biggest block to having financial freedom, deep and connected love, an amazing, purpose-filled career and spiritual joy and happiness can be addressed by simply making a decision that the safest decision you can make is to take back your power for creating a life you desire, nothing will stop you now from doing it. Your foot is posed to take that step. And because you acknowledged that you do have blocks by attracting and reading this article, you have already taken that step. You are on your way.

Copyright 2006 Melissa Quiter

About The Author
Melissa Jean Quiter authors the 4-phase, life and business-changing program for taking full control now. "Being Spiritual Doesn't Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness, is a timeless program based on the Law of Attraction, universal laws, deliberate creation, NLP and environmental design. To get started, visit: or e-mail: for more articles.


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