Trans4mind Home Page

Why Advice Doesn't Work

By Cameron Elliott

Lucy felt trapped. It was nearing 3 am, and despite spending the last 8 hours at the library, she's made absolutely zero progress on her music history paper. She still has a half- completed stats assignment that was due yesterday, but Lucy can't worry about that until she finishes her paper and studies for tomorrow's child development exam.

The next day after failing the exam the next day, Lucy was required to meet with her professor who told her that she needed to study harder and do better on the upcoming midterm. That night, Lucy was 15 minutes late to her job as waitress, a common occurrence. Her boss scolded her for being late and questioned her dedication to the cafe. Diana, Lucy's best friend, said Lucy needed a better work-life balance.

Telling Lucy to work on her study skills or to work harder is no better than telling the homeless they need jobs, or telling an alcoholic to stop drinking; this advice fails on two counts: It's short-sighted and insulting.

Like most people, Lucy is fairly self-aware, she knows her strengths and weakness. She knows she needs to work on time management and on her work habits and she knows she's in danger of failing her classes.

Lucy's friends, teachers, and managers then ask, "If Lucy know all this, why doesn't anything change? Why doesn't she develop better time management skills?" From there, it's easy to start making assumptions about Lucy's character and motivations. Is she stupid? Lazy? Does she even want to change?

But it's not that simple. Telling a homeless person to find a job will not result in him landing a lucrative job and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. Telling a deaf person to listen harder will not result in a miraculous healing.

Telling the person things they already know won't help. The problem isn't what's wrong, it's how to fix it. If you don't have the right tools, or don't know how to use those tools, you're not going to be able to accomplish much.

Which is why over the next few weeks, this column will explore self- discipline: what it really is, and most importantly, how to develop it

About The Author
Cameron Elliott, a sleep specialist, is an internet manager for AirSleep where he champions the benefits of a good night's sleep both for individual health and also for a more safe and efficient world.

celliott@create-on.com



From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

The New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd