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It's No Secret

By Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach

When you were a teenager, did you always sit as far in the back as you could in class or church or even the movies? Most of us did, probably to avoid the attention of teachers or other adults.

And as you grew older, did you find that you sat in the back of conference rooms or seminars? But that habit probably doesn't put you up for promotions or being known as a "go-getter".

If you think about it, you'll find many things like this in your daily life. Most of what you do on a daily basis is not a product of some deep dark psychological reason. It's just a habit. And that habit that may have worked for you at one time. But if that same habit is not helping you today, then it's time for change.

A common habit is making excuses. If you had a parent who let you get away with things or get out of work with your excuses, it's likely that you learned this behavior well. Very Well.

But the good news is you *learned* it, and you can un-learn it too. Or, more accurately, learn to replace the behavior with something that does serve you better. (And P.S., they weren't doing you any favors by letting you excuse your way out of responsibility. Keep that in mind with the behavior you may be modeling to your own children now.)

Making excuses instead of taking action ---- and its best friend, complaining -- is a nasty habit. Remember when your toddler was old enough to ask for what he wanted (like juice, or a toy, or to be picked up), but since his language skills were still developing, he often would just give in to frustration and sit down and cry?

Imagine yourself as a big-old-toddler who has given up and instead is sitting in the middle of the floor throwing a tantrum, making excuses, pointing fingers, complaining. Do you know that's how other people see you? Not exactly what you had in mind, I'd bet. You probably wouldn't want to hire that person or be friends with that person, would you?

Want more good news? You have the power to change it! As I said, it's not some deep dark psychological secret. It's a habit. It's an automatic response, but not a conscious one. It can be changed, the same way you stopped biting your fingernails.

It just takes some practice to start teaching yourself to ask for what you want instead of complaining and blaming; to take *action* instead of making excuses. It may be harder in one way, but the results of being seen as an adult, of getting things done that make you feel good, of being known as get-it-done person instead of never-finish person --isn't that all worth a little work?

And you know what else is under all those excuses? Self acceptance. Self appreciation. Self confidence.

Stop Making Excuses -- Stop Procrastination. It's just that simple. (and you thought it was a big secret didn't you!)

About The Author
Life Coach Kathy Gates specializes in focus and motivation, helping you find where self improvement meets self acceptance. Want to know how? Visit to learn more about how Life Coaching can give you greater clarity and peace of mind.


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