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Escape the Drama! through The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic)

By David Emerald

There is a vital distinction between victimhood as a particular situation and Victimhood as a way of being and self-identity. It is the latter that we now have the capacity to change, thanks to The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic).

Since the beginning of time, the default orientation of humanity has been that of the Victim. Living in an often hostile and dangerous world, we human beings have honed the fight, flight, or freeze reaction to our life experience. While surviving is an accomplishment that deserves to be honored, most of humanity lives at a level of material wealth where survival is no longer a question. However, surviving is not thriving ─ spiritually, mentally or emotionally. And surviving is not creating. There must be a better way - and now there is!

Transactional Analysis pioneer and psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, MD, has observed that most human dynamics involve three roles - that of Victim; Persecutor (or Perpetrator); and Rescuer - which result in what he described as the "Drama Triangle."

The Victim, which is the central figure in the drama, sees life as happening to them and believes they are powerless in the face of the onslaught of the problems they encounter. In order to be a Victim, however, one must have a Persecutor. The Persecutor is very often a person, but it can also be a condition (maybe an illness) or a circumstance (for instance, a hurricane). When a Victim encounters a Persecutor, they then look around for a Rescuer, to save them or, at least, to alleviate their suffering. Here, again, the Rescuer may be a person, but it can also be various forms of escapism and/or addiction such as gambling, alcohol, video games, even television.

There is a subtle and powerful seduction in being a powerless Victim. Besides being a great way to elicit pity and assistance from others, the role of Victim lets one believe that they are not responsible (i.e. able to respond) for what is going on in their life and often, the victim becomes the star of the drama. This position lets the victim avoid responsibility for their life, since, as far as they are concerned, they are usually not the cause of such occurrences in their life and, therefore, it's not their fault! But the real question is not "whose fault is it? The real question is, "What do you want? and "Who do you want to be? given your situation.

Make no mistake, there are victims in the world - stuff happens! Man's inhumanity to man is infamous. My friends who make (or made) their homes in New Orleans certainly have suffered at the hands of hurricane Katrina. Again, there is a vital distinction between victimhood as a particular situation and Victimhood as a way of being and self-identity. This is where The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic) turns our assumptions about "the way it is upside down.

The Power of TED* offers a new Orientation that is the antidote to the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). By engaging in life as a Creator instead of experiencing life as a Victim, a whole new set of alternative roles emerge that have broad implications for living more effectively and with much greater fulfillment.

The Creator is the central role in The Empowerment Dynamic. A Creator claims and taps into their personal power in order to choose his or her response to life circumstances. This role is result- and goal-oriented, focused on desired outcomes. Creators work consciously and deliberately to deal with their current reality while moving toward the life they intend to create. Along the way, they invariably meet up with the Challenger, which is the antidote to the role of Persecutor. Creators welcome Challengers. Creators are able to transform their perspective toward difficulties with people, conditions and/or circumstances into challenges to be met, understood, and (whenever possible) overcome. The Challenger calls forth a Creator's will to create, often spurring him or her to learn new skills, make difficult decisions, and do whatever is necessary to achieve a dream or desire.

In order to more effectively move toward their dreams and desires, a Creator often seeks out a Coach, which is the role that is the antidote to the Rescuer. A Coach supports, assists, and facilitates a Creator in clarifying and manifesting the Creator's desired outcome. Coaches help Creators perceive new possibilities; coaches dare them to dream! Thus, a Coach acknowledges and helps leverage the power and capabilities of a Creator and holds them accountable for taking the steps necessary to move forward.

Making the shift from Victim to Creator can take an instant or even many years. The process is achieved one step at a time, each and every day. It requires reviewing and previewing our actions to determine whether we are acting in the role of Creator or Victim. This conscious shift requires daily attention and is not necessarily easy. It is, however, a shift worth making.

TED* shows how to make the shift and makes possible a life of purpose, power, and compassion. The result is a profoundly higher quality of life and more fulfilling relationships. This remarkable transformation can be achieved through a simple series of Baby Steps, small but important shifts toward recreating your self-view. To illustrate, imagine seeing your doctor for your annual physical and hearing life altering news. Perhaps it's high blood pressure and cholesterol, maybe it is diabetes, or even the news that you have a life-threatening disease. How you respond to this Challenger will define whether you are a Creator or a Victim. A Victim will wallow in self-pity and despair. While a Creator would certainly be unsettled by this news, they would set about envisioning a goal and then work daily to make that goal happen. Perhaps they begin an exercise program, take medication to lower their blood pressure or start yoga and meditation classes. The circumstance or Challenger (in this case poor health) does not by necessity define who you are. It is your conscious reaction and the choices you make every single day that will ultimately determine the role in which you live your life.

The Drama Triangle is a familiar scenario that everyone has experienced in their lifetime. Escape from this triangle has often seemed impossible, but as TED* so powerfully illustrates, you can indeed escape the drama. You have the power to be the Creator of your own life. The time has come for you to plan your escape and begin taking Baby Steps toward a new and better life by cultivating the Creator within you!

©2006 by David Emerald and Polaris Press - all rights reserved.

The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic) is published through Polaris Press, © 2006.

About The Author
David Emerald is the author of The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic). He is committed to living his life from a vision-focused and passion-based orientation. His commitment to express his life purpose has led him to serve individuals, teams, and organizations in making and living this conscious shift. David has founded Evolutionary Management and co-founded the Bainbridge Leadership Center, both of which provide him with the ability to deliver his profound message to a wide variety of people and organizations and to facilitate their efforts toward this goal. David brings the skills, knowledge and experience he acquired from 25 years of executive leadership development in the corporate and higher education arena, as well as his personal experiences to his writing. He has a Master's Degree in Applied Behavioral Psychology and is working with the University of Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business Executive Education, where he helps deliver their Executive Integral Leadership Program to the next generation of enlightened leaders. He resides in Bainbridge Island, Washington with his wife and family.

©2006 by David Emerald and Polaris Press - all rights reserved.

The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic) is published through Polaris Press, © 2006.

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