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Article: We are used to think that communication is between people, that we need to communicate to express our feelings, our ideas, to create bonds, good feelings, harmony,...and we all know that good communication is key in relationships, whether this being with partner, friends, family, neighbours, business,...

In absolutely everything good communication is the key to success.

But have you ever thought that you need to have good communication with yourself as well? And that good communication with yourself determines your happiness and bad communication with yourself determines your unhappiness?

Yes, because we can have all the money in the world, and houses and cars and goods and relationships, but if we do not have good communication with ourselves we may be very unhappy and also not able to appreciate and be thankful for all we have.

So, how can we achieve good communication with ourselves?

First of all, you need to welcome yourself for who you are: you are a wonder, wonderfully made, unique in richness, gifts and talents.

You need to be yourself and not try to be someone you are not, it would create inner discomfort.

Then, how do you talk to yourself?

You might say: "I do not talk to myself, I talk to people!" Yes, well, but what are you thinking and telling yourself in your head?

Do you beat yourself up?

I believe 99% of the population has obtained a PHD in "Beating ourselves up"!

Ok, so how about first of all stop doing it, start finding good things in you, take responsibility for all your weakness and do something to change them, simply?

How about starting by asking yourself:

* Do I accept, or better, welcome myself?

* Am I appreciating who I am?

* Am I respecting myself?

* Do I love myself?

* Do I support myself?

And very important,

* Am I thanking myself for all that I have done and overcome and achieved and simply for being alive and taking care of myself?

Do you know that the quality of your life depends literally on how you communicate with yourself?

You can literally make yourself happy or depressed.

It is about your thoughts about yourself, what you expect and the meaning you give to events, other people, and situations.

Your happiness in fact depends also on the meaning you give to events, situation, people, because you can choose a meaning that empowers you or one that disempowers you. What goes on in your head really determines your happiness or unhappiness. We have such a power.

How about if next time that you find yourself thinking about an event you choose to expect the best?

And how about next time that you have a discussion with your partner you choose to give an empowering meaning, maybe reframing the situation, maybe asking yourself if you need to know more information before getting a little annoyed?

How about deciding that from this very moment on you are going to make yourself happy?

And how about deciding that from this very moment on you are going to make yourself FEEL GOOD, REALLY GOOD?

Remember you can choose your thoughts at every moment, choose empowering ones!

Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006. All rights reserved.

About the author:
Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach & NLP Practitioner and Director of Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach & NLP Practitioner and Director of PG Coaching Ltd. She helps professionals, expatriates, people, improve dramatically the quality of their lives and create extraordinary lives. For free coaching mini-courses please visit: Contacts: +44 020 8995 0264,

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