by Udo Vieth
Did you know that apart from financial problems, heck even with financial problems, the biggest threat to a happy relationship is a negative person. Lets face it, if nothing is ever good or positive, sooner or later either the other partner or the relationship itself will not be good enough.
That person will find the negative in any situation, including the relationship. They will find the faults with you, no matter how small. Now if that information was used in a positive way to enhance or "fix" a relationship, great! But the negative person will use this information, focus on it continuously and bring it up constantly. Eventually, there is nothing good that can be seen about being in the relationship anymore.
The next step is action.
The person seeing only negative things about the relationship, will start acting in a way to protect themselves from the impending pain. This is a genuine concern, as it is a very real feeling. One action will lead to another, until there is no more feeling of passion and contentment left. There is a feeling of apprehension and gloom. Nobody wants to live under those circumstances, and so the relationship declines until one or the other partner says 'enough, I'm outta here' End of relationship.
I knew a woman for several years once, who was never happy in any situation, was negative about people, her surroundings and always expected that future events would be the ones to make her happy. Whilst I was trying to be friends with her, because I enjoyed her company at different times, her increasingly negative attitude eventually made me want to avoid being around her. She would say, "I would be happy if I was married," then when she got married she was negative about her husband. She didn't like where she lived either, but when she moved, she was still unhappy. She was always looking for happiness outside of herself. In other people, other situations, other surroundings. She didn't understand that true happiness conmes from within, not from outside influences.
Some of the happiest people I have seen were poor and ragged street children in Africa. They did not even have a home to go to, or knew where their next meal would come from. Yet they lived harmoniously, in happy relationships with their family and others. Money and surroundings did not affect their happiness. As long as they were alive, they were happy.
As long as your relationship is alive, be happy, and it will stay alive.
Negative people are unhappy people and others do not want to be around someone who always brings them down. Often unforgiveness and holding on to the past is the reason that people suffer with being negative. Holding on to the past, we remain stuck and never experience the joy of growth and success that is here in the present. All that old excess baggage does not allow us to move forward into new and exciting situations.
If someone is having relationship problems, in keeping friends, with their spouses, at home with the family, or at work, then maybe being honest and giving some helpful encouraging tips could help. As you read this article, maybe you realize that you are this negative, unhappy person!
I will list some practical tips at the end of the article. But first you need to understand that not being negative is being positive. Choose to be an optimist not a pessimist. See the glass as half full not half empty!
We sometimes find ourselves in seemingly impossible situations where we need to make choices. Make those choices with a positive optimistic outlook, and the chances of them becoming positive increase immediately. Your negativity literally attracts your negative circumstances. Remember it is not our situation that makes us happy in life, but the attitude we display towards them. And your attitude is under your control. The decisions you make determine your future success or failure, in life and in relationships. To attract a better happier relationship, you need to be a positive happy person. It all starts with you at some level.
Something practical you can do right now.
1. Realize that Right Feelings Follow Right Thoughts! Think positive happy thoughts.
2. Understand that Happiness is a decision, your decision!
3. Change what you can to move into a more positive direction NOW!
4. Trust the Universe about what you cannot change!
5. Always find the positive in a situation, no matter how small, instead of the negative.
6. Only make positive comments, keep the negative ones to yourself!
7. Leave the past behind, live for the now.
Keep on loving.
Copyright Udo Vieth - http://www.toprelationships.com