The Need To Win Drains You Of Power
This article explains why it is necessary to detach from the results you want in life in order to attrach what you desire into your life.
Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. But better still is surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace. Bhagavadgita
Attracting what you desire into your life requires surrendering your attachment to receiving it. Being overly invested in a particular outcome produces desperation. Desperation robs you of your inner peace. It sends a message to your unconscious mind that you are somehow incomplete without the object of your desire. It denies your innate, inner worthiness. This is another message of fear created by the ego. You are complete as you are. You lack nothing. In the words of A Course In Miracles You are altogether irreplaceable in the mind of God. To think otherwise is arrogant because it means you believe your evaluation of yourself is truer than God's. When you are attached to results you completely negate your Self-confidence and your true source of power.
Anyone who has ever been stalked to any degree knows how unattractive desperation is. Desperation produces fanaticism, possessiveness, unhealthy competitiveness, and having to 'prove' something. All of these states of mind rob you of your inner peace. They also upset the body's equilibrium and disable its ability to perform. For example, if you're playing in a tennis tournament and you're desperate to win, in order to prove that you are a great player, your equilibrium will be upset, you'll loose your poise and your game will suffer. You'll start worrying about each shot and your overall ability to play. Believing that the power is in the winning you'll become disconnected from your real source of power and all your Self-confidence. A poem by the Chinese poet Chuang Tzu perhaps best expresses what happens to those who are overly invested in winning.
THE NEED TO WIN When an archer is shooting for nothing He has all his skill. If he shoots for a brass buckle He is already nervous. If he shoots for a prize of gold He goes blind Or sees two targets- He is out of his mind!
His skill has not changed. But the prize Divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning Than of shooting- And the need to win Drains him of power.
Attachment to the end result drains you of power and works against you. Remember; as you think so shall you be. When you come from a desperate need to win, if you're in business, you'll be pushy and you'll end up attracting clients who will be suspect of your 'worthiness.' They won't want to invest in you until you 'prove' yourself. In your personal life you'll attract partners who will dominate you or compete with you because they - ll sense your lack of confidence.
The antidote to being attached to results is putting your attention in the moment. You exude peace and confidence and wait with infinite patience for things to unfold naturally. Then like the bee is attracted to honey you attract what you want into your life effortlessly. In Course terminology your infinite patience produces instant results.
You don't worry about how things will turn out. You aren't desperate for results or rewards. You're connected to your own power. Because of this you don't attract suspicious customers or dominating partners. You become completely immersed in the present moment, thereby creating a state of flow in your life and your work. You become the tennis ball, the book that you are writing, the sale that you're making. You fall in love with whatever you're doing. You do it for the sheer joy of doing it. You do it unselfconsciously and unselfishly. You give all that you have and all that you are to the present moment with loving attention. You have an inner knowing that you are doing what you're meant to do in life. You're connected with your own inner power. You become more and more productive, more and more creative, more and more successful, without being the least bit concerned about the outcome. Your lover comes to you. He or she is magnetized to you. Things begin to fall into place like ripe fruit falling from a tree because you are no longer striving. There's a natural, effortlessness about you. There's harmony in your mind and body and in your life, because you come from loving what you're doing, giving of yourself and having a quiet assurance that all things come together for good in your life. This creates the miracle of prosperity, creativity, artistic performance, great lovemaking or whatever else you're engaged in. You become your own miracle worker by surrendering your attachment to results and feeling immediate peace enter into your life.
About the Author
Loretta Siani, Ph.D. is a clinical hypnotherapist. In her private practice teaches the mind/body model and combines hypnosis, neuro-linguistic psychology, guided visualizations, aromatherapy, dream work and the principles of A Course In Miracles to assist her clients in achieving transformational changes. Dr. Siani's book, The Magic of Excellence, and her book and CD's for eliminating stress, can be purchased at http://www.atlasbooks.com/marktplc/00761.htm or from her website www.lorettasiani.com, click on "products."