The Absentee Parent - Parenting From A Distance
By Anne Wolski
You want to be able to continue having a great relationship with your kids after separation or divorce. This means focusing on the kids rather than your ex-partner. You need to be parents rather than partners.
Breaking up is difficult enough without losing touch with your kids"you are feeling the loss of that everyday contact and you believe your children miss you too. You may not always be sure of the best way to be involved with your children. Remember - you are important to your children so make contact and hang in there for them.
Even if you live a long way from your children, you are still their parent. No matter who your children live with, they need and deserve to know that they are loved and wanted by both of their parents.
Children can be frightened by the strong emotions that often come from parental breakups. You may have to work to regain their trust. Your children need to feel safe with you and this can take time.
Studies support the importance of children generally having both parents in their lives. This helps their self-esteem, wellbeing and their success in life as they get the benefit of both parents strengths and experience.
Separation often means that you have to parent one-to-one for the first time and this can be a challenge. At the same time, it is a new chance to get to know your child as a person and show them they are important to you. Kids have their own ways of doing things. Let them know you love them for who they are.
Plan what you are going to do with your children. Outings don't have to cost a lot of money but they just need to be enjoyable for the kids and yourself. The kids will enjoy just spending time with you and knowing you are still an important element of their life.
Phone calls can't replace being with your children but they are a great way of staying in touch. Whatever happens, you are making contact and kids realize that you care.
Think about what you are going to say before you pick up the phone. The more you talk with your children, the more things will flow and you will discover how special they are.
Copyright 2005 Anne Wolski
About The Author
Anne Wolski has worked in the health and welfare industry for more than 30 years.
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