"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but
around in awareness." -- James Thurber
"Like a fish suddenly made aware that it is swimming in water, I
found every aspect of my perception changed." Author Unknown
How many of us live in a state of real awareness? Most
of us are aware of outward feelings. We to often go about our
lives never going much deeper than what we see and feel on the
surface. We are aware that we feel anger at someone or
something, or that we have a worry or fear of some coming event
or circumstance. But how many of us live in the awareness and
understanding of where that anger, worry or fear really comes
from. How many of us really go deep enough to be present enough
and in touch enough with our emotions to understand what makes
us act and react the way that we do?
Websters Dictionary defines awareness as: on ones guard,
vigilant, knowing or realizing, conscious or informed. To be
aware implies having a knowledge of something through
alertness in observing or in interpreting what one sees, hears,
feels, etc. Consciousness implies awareness of a sensation,
feeling, fact or condition etc. and recognition or focusing of
To be consciously aware of what is really causing us to
act and react the way we do takes a willingness to explore the
inner self and discover the inner beliefs that are causing us to
feel and act the way we do in a present situation. It takes a
willingness to be 'aware' on a deeper level.
For years, I have struggled with finances and feelings
of lack. I felt I was a victim of outside circumstances. In my
business endeavors I would progress well, then something would
happen, something seemingly beyond my control. As I began
going deeper on a quest to discover who I really was, I learned
that I was sabotaging my own financial success and prosperity.
I sat in meditation one morning asking why. When I had
need of things and especially if I had a desire why was there
that catch in my heart that just couldn't believe it would be
provided or that I had what it takes to succeed beyond the
ordinary. Suddenly a picture appeared in my mind of me at 2 1/2
when my mother died. It was sudden and unexpected, a blood clot
to her heart. When it happened, I was kept separated from the
procedures, the grieving, the funeral, and life with my father
for some time afterward. I was sent to my grandparents while
my father sorted through his life. I realized I had formed a
belief that I didn't matter or my father wouldn't have sent me away to my
grandparents when I need him. These beliefs of course were not
true, but with my limited experience of life and knowledge, I
came to believe them.
Without even realizing it I had formed a belief that I was not
worthy of the best, worthy to have what I really wanted
because I wasn't important or my dad would have wanted me with him.
When I returned home 3 months later from my grandparents, my
dad had a new wife with grown children who had children my age.
I felt I had been replaced and I felt like an outside. This was
my perception as they did not treat me like an outside. My
Father never was emotionally available to me as I grew up and
died a few years ago without us ever having been close. I
formed a belief that my needs were not important or he would
have wanted to have a meaningful relationship with me. I know
now it was his perception of life and himself that kept him from
a relationship with me, it was not really about me.
To add to my mis-beliefs, I formed the belief
that no one could be trusted. My stepmother was demanding, at
times critical, manipulative and guilt producing. I formed the
beliefs that I was not important, that love had to be earned and
was conditional, and that it was assumed that I would do the
wrong thing. Because my parents, were not able to accept
me for who I was because of who they wanted and needed me to
be, It re-enforced my earlier false belief of not being important or good
enough. None of this was intentional on behalf of my parent,
for they were doing the best they could with the
beliefs they had formed as children about themselves and life
just as I had done.
We form false beliefs about ourselves as children we
carry them into our adult life. Once I made the connection to
these beliefs, and realized they were a 'created' reality and not truth,
my financial picture began to change. My
business shot forward with new energy and creativity. In fact my
vision and dreams took on new dimension and solidity. I
realized my dreams were possible, and that it was OK to dream
One must go within and uncover these false beliefs in order
to be set us free from a limiting belief system that will only
hold us back. Inside each of us it unlimited creativity, beauty and
capacity for living a rich full life in love, peace and joy.
- The only way out is through'
Sheri Bardo / Life Coach
"A person only begins to become the person he wants to be when
he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the
hidden justice which regulates his life." ------
I had to look up the meaning of the word revile because I've
never seen it used. It means to condemn, despise, berate. I
didn't have to look up the meaning of the word whine 'in fact
I'm sure some of my friends have sometimes wanted to ask me if
I "wanted some cheese with that whine?"
When we whine and revile we give power to that which we revile
and whine about. We cease to be in charge of our life. I love
the way that Wayne Dyer describes it in "You'll See It When You
Believe It." He says, "I no longer view the world in terms of
unfortunate accidents or misfortunes. I know in my being that
I influence it all, and now find myself considering why I
created a situation, rather than saying, "why me?" This
heightened awareness directs me to look inside of myself for
answers. I take responsibility for all of it, and the
interesting puzzle becomes a fascinating challenge when I decide
to influence areas of my life in which I previously believed I
was not in control. I now feel that I control it all."
One of my favored quotes on this subject is from George Bernard
Shaw. "People are always blaming their circumstances for what
they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on
in the world are the people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make
So how do we develop the necessary character to make our
circumstances instead of allowing our circumstances to make us?
Emmet Fox tells us that "you can build any quality into your
mentality by meditating upon that quality every day. If you seem
to yourself to be lacking in certain necessary qualities, if your
character seems to lack strength, ask God to give you what you
need 'and He will. When we get in touch with our Authentic or True Self, we will find we already posses everything we need to be everything we aspire to be.
And that's worth thinking about.
In Postscript to this we have a saying out west "COWBOY (or
COWGIRL) UP" For me that means, "get over it and get on with
your life! Its time to move into our true Purpose and leave the
Sheri Bardo / Life Coach
Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self esteem, how
does one get it?
Esteem: (definition according to Websters Dictionary) to value,
appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly;
favorable opinion, high regard'
To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high
regard for yourself. People with low self esteem never feel
in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left
out, unimportant, etc.. However low self esteem has two faces.
One is the personality that seems to always be the underdog, the
under achiever, the negative one, the one who says I can't, I
couldn't, I shouldn't, I have to. The other face is the person
who seems very confident, a take charge type of person, very in
control, very opinionated, positional, and often in leadership
positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self
esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these
traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive,
or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can't take
criticism, instruction, or direction, is very independent and
self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet
not be true leaders. This type of low self esteem will often
deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in charge
is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life,
eliminates anger, irritation, the desire to control others.
When a person truly esteems themselves, will take 100% responsibility
For their own lives. They let others
make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control,
and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived
right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining
this balance. What is the face of true self esteem? Those with
true self esteem are in charge of their lives. They take 100%
responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. If
relationships are not working in their life, they ask, what is
it in me that is attracting this type of person or what am I
doing to create this situation, instead of blaming the other
person,' if only they would, or could do this or that. If their
finances are not what they desire, they ask what can I do to
change this and they tap into their creative, intuitive side to
do this. They do not waste time saying, there is never enough,
if only I had a better job, if only, if only. They set about
discovering why this is presently their situation. True self
esteem values itself, it says, I can do, I can have, I can make
my life what I desire it to be.
Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has no self esteem,
he expects things to go wrong and they usually do. Tigger on
the other hand, bounces through life, always hopeful, always on
an adventure, even when his friends try to pull him in, he just
sees the bouncy side of things. He exasperates those who need
total order, or control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. He
loves his friends just as they are and even grouchy old rabbit
can't dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, though I certainly
have had my Eore moments! If you get a chance, watch the
cartoon or read a Poo book. See who you identify with and who
irritates you - .
This week try and be aware of the times you feel
uncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, irritated, frustrated,
out of control, or the flip side, very independent, self
sufficient, (don't need any one else, I will do it myself, no
one else can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional,
and ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself. Start a
journal. Keep track, start to be responsible for your life and
yourself, find creative intuitive ways to make changes, your
inner self knows what it needs. Read a book on self
improvement, take a class, find a support group, get a coach!!
Get in touch with your true self which is perfect in every way.
Your true self esteems who it is because it knows it was created
perfect by a perfect creator. It is the false self that finds
fault in who it is and lacks self esteem. Finding your Authentic or
true self is the only adventure you can't afford to miss in life.
Sheri Bardo / Life Coach
About the Author
I am a Life Coach. I have a background in business, sales, public relations, and spiritual counseling. I own and operate Authentically You Retreats and Life Coaching.
My Life Purpose is to live a life of Authenticity, Spiritual Truth, Abundance, Creativity and Celebration of all life's possibilities.
I believe there is greatness in each individual and my joy is to take others on the adventure of finding their own greatness
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