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Love At Home

By Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

It's Valentine's Day. This day focused on expressions of love can
be wonderful. Unexpected flowers arrive. Gold embossed boxes of
delicious chocolates are given. Cute stuffed animals proclaiming
love are exchanged. Great start! A good beginning. The important
question, though, is: "Do you demonstrate your love every other
day?" Unless you do, Valentine's Day is just another 'Hallmark

In the U.S. and Canada, I've noticed an interesting phenomenon. I
did not have to look very far or very hard, either. Maybe you've
noticed it where you are.

It's simple. Folks seem to treat the people they interact with
outside the home a little better than they often treat the folks
they say they love the most at home. Isn't this curious?

People will say or do things at home that they would not do in
public. They leave their manners outside their doors. They forget
that 'please' and 'thank you', used freely, make life much
simpler. Recently I was giving a parenting workshop at a college.
There were fifteen couples in the room and I asked them what they
thought were the greatest lessons they were teaching their
children. Many good answers came forth. Then, I told them that
with every look, word and action, they were teaching their
children how to treat a partner. Oooh! There were some pained
expressions in that room.

You know how much simpler it is so say "I love you" than to act
"I love you". What could ever be the reason for not using simple
manners with your family? Why would you give up saying, 'Thank
you' when the simplest things are done for you? Are you not
thankful? Do you simply expect that you should be considered,
taken care of, or done for? That's the beginning of the end of
love...and, maybe, the relationship as well.

No matter how many times a person says they love you, believe
their behaviour. Behaviour over time tells the truth. If someone
whispers, 'I love you', it is simply pleasant noise unless their
behaviour screams the same message daily!

Make this Valentine's Day the renewal of your love and let it
come with a secret unspoken promise: Every day, my loved ones
will feel loved by my words and actions.

Happy Valentine's Day!

About the Author

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, Motivational Keynote
Speaker, Corporate TeamBuilder and Executive Coach from San
Diego, CA, is the creator of The Consociate Way": Promoting
Performance & Peace in Your Workplace.
Call Rhoberta at 1.877.728.6464 or email at
Visit: for further information
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