Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library


I want to love him... but he's so far away

By Timothy Winters

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. However, if we can manage to keep some things in mind and change our mind set just a bit, we can see that making long-distance work is not that bad...not only that, but also that it just might be a little bit of (honest) fun.

What most people think about when they hear about long-distance relationships is failure. Some type of failure. Failure to communicate, failure to stay interested, failure to keep one's hands off of another man or woman. But it isn't so. What long-distance is really about is success... succeeding in sacrificing for a special person, succeeding in doing what most people are unable to do: make love work at a distance.

First, however, we have to get one thing straight. In order for a long-distance relationship to work, BOTH parties must be very and equally interested in making this work in the first place. I've made long-distance work but only when she was as interested as I am. If you sense any doubt or have any reason to be skeptical about the other person's commitment, then the harsh reality is that it might not workout. However, if you have both talked and are sure you want to go along, we here at thecollegeguys.com can help you make it happen.

Communication
Being able to send messages to your significant other is crucial but not always so simple. If this is going to work, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to communicate everything you need to to your special somebody. Try to make it easy on yourself by getting friendly phone plans (free mobile-to-mobile perhaps) and achieve an online presence (online messenger with 30 dollar web cam). Write letters, emails, text messages...mix it up over time and talk about what's going on, how you feel and other positive things. Never focus on the distance or time, ever. That will promote undesirable sentiment towards your situation.
Also try to talk every so often about your situation. If you to are willing to see other people but stay close, make sure its mutual. DO NOT have close relations with another if your partner only cares about you. This is considered cheating.

Equal Situation
One of the worst things that can happen is for one person in the relationship to be incredibly busy while the other is incredibly bored. This is just asking for trouble. Instead, what is ideal is for both members of this union to share more or less the same kind of schedule. If you're living at home like a bum it might be hard to make this work if your girlfriend is working to be a doctor at Yale. Interests will change sharply and time will become a factor...what will keep you interested when she has to study for hours tonight and tomorrow, for instance? Instead, if you're both bums or both studying to save the world, chances for this to work will be higher.

Keep it interesting
Try different things. Save money (key word: sacrifice) so that you can visit him/her or s/he can visit you. Play around with phone sex. Play games. Get creative. Remember, if you're really serious, it behooves you to be able to keep each other interested in a variety of ways. Expensive gifts and/or sexuality shouldn't be the only things keeping you together.

Just do it
Now there will be a lot of negativity around: people who snicker at you, tell you you're missing out or crazy...forget that. Just keep doing what you're doing. If the person is worth it, you will have the last laugh. Everyone wants others to fail to make themselves feel better, so succeed at this and you can rub it in later. Once you two make the decision to go along with this, NOTHING should hold you back except for the interest for and of each other. You'll have room to do what you need to, and you know that no matter how far, there's always somone there for you.

About the Author

Timothy Winters is a researcher who
specializes in interpersonal relationships. He has written several articles for thecollegeguys.com


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd