Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library


About love

By Joan Marques

Wow! Here's a reflection on an outdated topic! Or am I just being skeptical? Well, however you want to classify the mood radiating from this little write-up, a number of you may agree with a few or all points made, and some of you may think this is absolute junk. Fair enough. So here goes:

Have you ever considered the fact that being in love with someone is not necessarily the same thing as loving someone? I can vaguely remember reading or hearing somewhere? and what's more important: I am convinced that it's true? that people are first "in love" with someone and then, eventually "love" that person. Being "in love," then, is the heart pounding, hand palm-sweating phase when all your mind can do is thinking of that person you are enthralled with at the moment. You are in a mesmerized state of mind; a daze that makes everything else seems unreal and unimportant. And it's only gradually that this bedazzlement winds down and either evaporates into insignificance, or transforms into the deep mature love that people share when they have been together in good emotional standing for quite some time.

As a logical sequence to this, one could conclude that you first have to fall out of love with one person before you can fall in love with another. However - and men may understand this part better than women - you could be capable of loving one person and being in love with another. Confusing? Not really. Just read it a few times if it doesn't sound right at first.

Is the above stated a rule of thumb? Not by any means!
Does it make me an expert on the topic, even if you agree? Even further from that!
In my opinion love issues are, like all other, subject to one's unique perception.
And even if you consider my hypothesis on human's ability to be both deeply in love with one partner, and yet sincerely love another partner a true one, we still don't have a valid solution to the problem that rises in modern society. For in our "monogamous" (read: hypocritical), "civilized" world it's hardly accepted for one person to have more than one partner. Have I now exclaimed here that I am a proponent of people having more than one lover? Surely not! But we cannot ignore the fact that it is a widespread phenomenon of which the existence is simply denied.

I remember reading a magazine article once, in which a female author was trying to explain to her audience that men can be perfectly happy in their marriage and still have affairs in between. Women, on the other hand, only start an extramarital affair when they are unhappy in some regard in their steady relationship. In my opinion this theory is true in great lines. But does this mean that the abovementioned extramarital affairs, whether initiated as icing on the marriage cake (by men), or entire cake-surrogate (by women), require the participants to be in love? Or is there really a third possibility: being in lust?

If this is true, then we have this little overview to consider:
"You love your spouse that you've been happily married to during the past 20 years.
"You are in love with your sweetheart who provides you the listening ear, the tenderness, the time and the devotion that you don't get at home for some reason.
"You are in lust with the sexy secretary from the office next door or the hunk that jogs by every morning when you drive off to work.

But you know what? You are monogamous, because you were unfortunate enough to be born as a member of a society that does not allow the last two. Thus, you sneak away with them in a dark corner if you are a daredevil, and you just dream about them and picture them in place of your steady partner if you're not. The only alternative to you in any other case would be: to fall out of love with the one you've lived with for the longest time, and jump into the excitement of the partner you can be "in love" with. The sexy looking "in lust" figure is unfortunately the least important: lusts can be taken care of in many ways, even without the subject being near...

The love issue is indeed a complex and never experienced in the same way by two people. But if any of the nonsensicalities above were true... where would you want to stand? And where do you really stand?


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd