Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library


No More Oreos? Tell Me It Isn't True!

By Harriet Silkwood

Another good citizen comes to the aid of the ignorant public. After years of eating Oreo's, and enjoying them tremendously, somebody put on a pound or two. Who's to blame? You know somebody is to blame. It couldn't be the fault of the user. Did she exercise? Did she walk? Did she do her housework? No, she sat in front of her T.V. and ate Oreos.

When she realized she had gotten a little pudgy around the middle, she didn't like it. She complained to a lawyer friend. The lawyer friend listened to her crying about being fat and did his best to assure her she was still beautiful. To make her feel better, he got them both glasses of milk and took a fresh bag of Oreo's from her cabinet. Making themselves comfortable at the kitchen table, they continued to dip the cookies and argue whether she was fat or not. For hours. Finally, to shut her up, he said he would find the cause, he knew it wasn't her fault and he told her so.

And what did he discover while reading the ingredient list on the side of the bag? It is the fault of Oreos! There is fat in the white filling! Who would"ve thunk it? I wonder which college he went to? He was amazing! Now, another American icon is about to be erased.

Dads will not be able to show their sons how to twist off the top cookie carefully, so they can lick the filling off. Little brothers will no longer be able to dip their Oreo into their big brother's glass of milk, and enjoy a bit of brotherly camaraderie before being pushed away. What will mothers put in the lunch boxes? Will we be able to carry this one more straw of added stress in our daily lives?

In the years to come, someone will remember Oreos lovingly, and the children will say, "What the heck is an Oreo?

Or, "tell us about the old days, Daddy, when you use to eat Oreos." Fathers will sigh sadly, and brush a tear away.

People are going to start hoarding them, just wait and see. The neighbor across the street just put a padlock on his freezer in his garage. I just know he has Oreos in there.

On Halloween, Oreo came out with orange filling. (I wonder if it was to get rid of the white filling that had the fat in it? Hey, it works for me.) They also have double chocolate. A cookie with chocolate filling. Oh, they probably have a lot of new ideas in their secret files. Now, what will they do if they are shut down?

People will lose their jobs. Nabisco will go bankrupt. It's a real shame, but will the good citizen, with the over zealous lawyer, care? No. Her concern is over the rest of us getting fat. She is looking out for us that are too ignorant to know there is fat in the filling. Anyone out there who didn't already know this? Anyone?

I like fat. It keeps my hair shiny and my skin soft. Doing without a bit of fat turns you into a dried up prune with straw for hair. I'd rather be round, myself.

Oreos are the cookies of distinction. You don't just buy chocolate cookies. You must buy Oreos. When you bring the kids in for milk and cookies, they hear "milk and Oreos! Can any other cookie put that ring of chocolate around a child's mouth so neatly? I don't think so.

If this can be done to the King of cookies, what's next? Ice Cream? Reese's minis? The Golden Arches? It's time for people to revolt. Stand up for your right to eat Oreos! In the meantime, run and grab all you can before they're gone!

Update! May 17, 2003

The suit has been dropped. Wow! People can stand up and be revolting - it works! Kids can now enjoy their Oreo's, and mom and dad will not have to freeze them or hide them from the neighbors.

I wonder what else is on the Endangered Food List?

About The Author

Harriet Silkwood is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Creative Writing. Her portfolio can be found at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/storytime.


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd