Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library


The Secret Of Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 3)


How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope? By looking carefully at the facts. -- DR. HOWARD HALPERN

.

If you were asked to mention the qualities you want in a mate, no doubt you will list all the wonderful human qualities on earth. Perhaps you will not forget to mention that you will like your mate to be loving and caring. Well, that is good.

But you start the wrong way. You should have started by asking yourself if you possesses those angelic qualities in your master list. For example, ask yourself: Am I loving and caring?

You see, everyone looks for different qualities in a mate. For instance, what appeals to me, may not appeal to you. No wonder it is said that what is one man's meat is another man's poison.

This reminds me of one beautiful lady who loved Socrates the Greek philosopher for his intelligence, and asked for his hand in marriage. She reasoned that they would make excellent children. Because their children would combine her beauty with Socrates intelligence.

But the beautiful lady, a dullard who could not add one and one, forgot something which the ugly Socrates reminded her. What if our children combine your empty brain with my ugly face? he asked. And that ended it.

So, it means that we should look for a rounded mate. One quality alone is not enough. And we too should posses qualities that our mate should look at and admire. But what questions should you first ask yourself?

Am I willing to make a life long commitment to my partner? Matthew 19: 6

You dont marry today with the view to divorcing tomorrow, if things dont go your way. Marriage is a life long commitment. God hates those who abandon their mates. -- Malachi 2: 13-16.

Am I now physically mature to make sound judgment? -- 1 Corinthians 7: 36

Picture teenage couples in a matrimonial wedlock. These ones are still going through changes in their life. Lack of any life experience, coupled with the strong sexual desires incidental to their age, will distort their thinking and judgment.

Do I have traits that will help me to contribute to a successful marriage? -- Galatians 5: 22, 23.

You should try to cultivate those qualities that you want of your marriage mate. Compatibility is the word. But know that even twins are not exactly identical. So dont even think of marrying a relative in order to make the best out of marriage. And dont think you can change anyone. That is wishful thinking. Try changing yourself first!

Do I have the maturity to support a male in difficult times? -- Galatians 6: 2.

It is not the time to play the blame game when problems arise. You will agree that we live in difficult times, and this calls for maturity in handling issues. That is why you are two. -- Ecclesiastes 4: 9, 10.

Am I a cheerful and optimistic person? -- Proverbs 15: 15

If you are a critical, gloomy and negative person, marriage will not change you. Instead you are going to strain the marriage. Why not add some humor to your life by being cheerful and optimistic.

Remember, such character repels, and is dangerous to your health.

Do I exercise self control? -- Galatians 5: 19, 20.

One who cannot control his temper is a dangerous person. He can be violent, and may even kill before realizing it. Would you like to marry and end up in jail for murder? -- Ephesians 4: 26.

Questions to ask of your prospective mate.

Let's say he is a male, although some of these questions may well apply to a female. What would you want of your male partner?

Does he have a good reputation? -- Philippines 2: 19: 22.

Yes, the way a man is viewed by others, including those under his authority will enable you to know the kind of reputation that he has. Unfortunately, most good women marry bad men. -- See 1 Samuel 25: 3, 23  25

Does he have good morals?

Find out if the man you intend to marry is pretentious. Perhaps he wants to get you just to satisfy his sexual desires. Such persons think of themselves first. They do not even fear God.

Does he treat me kindly? -- Ephesians 5: 28, 29.

A kind husband would treat his wife in like manner. He trusts and praise his wife; he is not excessively jealous and is moderate in his expectations of her. Would that not be how you want your future husband to treat you?

Does he respect his family members?

Also find out how your prospective mate treats his parents and relatives. If he is rude to his family members, then you should expect trouble from him. But if he is respectful and obedient to his parents, then expect him to treat you lovingly after the marriage.

Does he allow anger to control his life?

Many families have been ruined by violence. So if your prospective mate is given to fits of anger, that is a clear indication of danger. A woman who marries such a man will be subject to verbal and physical abuse. Do you call that marriage?

Does he have right goals?

Find out if your future mate has attainable or visionary life goals. For example, does he want to be a millionaire? Will it do him good? Or is it his goal to serve God?

So the above questions will help you to scrutinize your mate in order for you to find out if such one has the qualities that are needed to make a successful marriage. Try to look beyond the wedding day. For you are going to live with this person all the days of your life.

But now, how can you have a successful courtship?

(To be continued)

Copyright) 2002, all rights reserved

About the Author:

ARTHUR ZULU, is the author of the best- selling book,
HOW TO WRITE A BEST-SELLER. The above article is taken from a book of the same title, and the book is for sale. For contacts, mailto : controversialwriter@yahoo.com


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd