Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library


Good Grief, What Good is it?

By Evelyn Cole

"Consider how much more often you suffer from your anger and grief than from those things for which you are angry and grieved." Marcus Antonius

Emotions are feelings in motion. You can let them move on.

Turner Classic Movies recently showed Tennessee Williams, "A Rose Tattoo." I watched as much as I could stand. The main character grieved for her dead husband for three years! She manufactured misery every day for herself and everyone around her.

She stewed in her own juice. That's a neat folk expression for hanging on to anger. Have you ever had trouble letting go of anger or grief?

What does hanging on to either feeling do for us? In the case of grief we may think we're getting approval of others by staying miserable.

Hanging on to anger may give us a false feeling of vitality or control. Letting go of either one is really quite simple. Picture your anger as a raging fire in your outdoor barbecue and then close the cover.

Picture your grief as a dripping faucet and then turn it off. Sure, it will come back each time you long for whomever or whatever you have lost, but you can just turn off the faucet again.

I grieved off and on for six months for my father after he died. I never knew when the feeling would strike me to tears, embarrassing me. Finally, I turned off the faucet and celebrated his life.

I didn't know at the time that I was feeling sorry for myself, giving myself a reason to be sad in order to get sympathic approval of myself from myself.

We all have three basic needs: security, approval, and control.

Will you stop now and consider your own examples? When did you last hang on to anger? What basic need did that satisfy? Security or control? When we are angry we are not afraid. That's why some people hang onto anger.

When we hang on to grief, wallow in it, we are not afraid either. And, we have, or think we have, control over those around us. They do things to console us that they would not do if we weren't grieving.

We make decisions every day. Good grief, let's decide to drop feelings of anger and grief as soon as they arrive. If we decide to keep them around, we should ask ourselves if it's for approval, security, or control.

Have a free day!

Copyright 2006 Cole's Poetic License

About The Author
© Evelyn Cole, MA, MFA, The Whole-mind Writer,

Cole's chief aim in life is to convince everyone to understand the power of the subconscious mind and synchronize it with goals of the conscious mind. Along with "Mind Nudges" and "Brainsweep", she has published three novels and several poems that dramatize subconscious power.


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd