Time Alone Makes Stepfamily Life More Successful
By Jo Ball
I realise this article is all about blending a family together successfully so what am I doing talking about time without the children you might ask?
Well because I believe it's vital! Yep, that's right, I think to have stepfamily bliss you need to make sure that you and your partner have special time alone. We rarely get time to sit and discuss us or our family when there is homework to help with, chauffeuring to carry out, ironing to be done and"the list could go on.
You"ve probably heard that old saying "you need to work at a relationship". We'll I also ask my clients to think of it like a plant. In the early stages it's finding it's way in life and growing stronger all the time. Then if it doesn't get the right amount of water and light it can all go pear shaped pretty quickly. Your relationship is like that plant. It can grow into and remain a beautiful strong healthy plant with the right nurturing - input - from you.
Inevitably bad feelings grow because something that could have been spoken about and sorted out sooner wasn't. So taking time out together will allow you to discuss any issues before any conflict occurs. It's like clearing the weeds before they take over.
In many ways being in a stepfamily makes time alone easy to achieve.
For example, it's now half term and both our children have been dropped off at their mothers. My partner and I now have five days to recharge our parenting batteries and get wrapped up in each other for a while. I'm loving it!
Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I don't want my stepchildren around, far from it. It does mean that my partner and I get some very special time to pay attention to us which will keep our relationship strong and therefore benefit the children immensely.
When the children return we arrange a special welcome home, which immediately bonds our family back together.
There are other ways, including sitters, that you can create some time alone with your partner. If you both have children you could try and work it so that their visits with their other parent occur at the same time. When was the last time you has some quality time alone with your partner? How soon will be the next time? Book it in today! Enjoy!
The Stepfamily Coach
About The Author
Jo Ball is The Stepfamily Coach, which began because Jo noticed that so many people blending a family together found it very stressful, and their relationships within their new family were strained.
As a stepmum of two Jo really can talk and coach from experience. Problems with the biological mother or father or difficulties on agreeing standards for discipline in your home with your partner are all typical challenges for stepfamilies.
If you are in a step situation or are about to enter into one please call or email Jo, she'd love to hear from you. firstname.lastname@example.org 0044 (0)1934 743 649