Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library


Don't Let Someone Else Define Who You Are!

Most people don't like being stuck with a particular LABEL. Labels have become a large part of who people think we are and that's a disturbing trend. Find out how to buck the system!
Most people don't like being stuck with a particular LABEL. Labels have become a large part of who people think we are and that's a disturbing trend. It seems that when we meet new people, we have to immediately identify what groups or philosophies we associate ourselves with. Liberal? Conservative? Independent? Single? Married? Divorced? Mom? Step Mom? Dad? Step Dad? Brother? Sister? Step Brother? Step Sister? Dating? Not Dating? Straight? Gay? Lesbian? Bi-Sexual? White? African American? Hispanic? Native American? Oriental? Indian? Christian? Jewish? Muslim? In a society that moves fast, these labels tend to define who we are to others in the quickest fashion possible.

Once we receive a Label, people expect us to act like whatever the particular label implies. If you're a Conservative, you listen to Rush Limbaugh, go along with whatever George Bush does and take the bread out of the mouths of babies and give it to corporation executives. If you're Liberal, you agree with whatever Democratic Leaders say, you're for big government and hate tax cuts. You want to empty the paychecks of all Americans into the mouths of the poor and your ethics are defined by the situation they revolve around. Don't like those definitions? Neither do I! But that's the result of living in a Label-oriented society. So how do we get out of this chicken outfit?

In the early days of computing when programs required a lot more time and effort to write, you were likely to see little signs posted around the machines which stated, 'GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT!' You're unlikely to see those signs today. Most Programmers and IT folk hate that phrase and view it as an archaic sign of past times. But that doesn't make it any less true. Carelessly written code is worthless in today's computer-driven world. Not only can it cause problems for whatever function the program is designed to complete, but it can easily disrupt an entire process that's designed to work along with it.

One way out of the system that Labels you is to stop allowing others to define who you are! The road to self-definition begins with a determination to move away from intake of the same information that everyone else consumes. Garbage in, garbage out. I know a lot number of people who purchase tons of self-help books and watch daytime TV talk shows, believing every word some host or expert says as gospel. The problem is that most of the people who write those books, host those shows or appear as guests have more problematic issues in their own lives, then the people watching them! It seems ludicrous to take marriage advice from someone whose been divorced many times or look for child rearing tips from people with no kids or out of control children? People seeking advice are actually looking for someone to define them, make decisions for them and run their lives.

The alternative to being defined is to define. The help you seek might just be staring you right in the face. When is the last time you made a decision, completely on your own? You know YOU better then anyone else. You understand your likes, dislikes and know what makes you tick. Where is it written that you have to run with a certain crowd or do certain things? People often say to me, 'I keep making the same mistakes over and over again!' Why? Most of the time it's because they lack the confidence required for change that comes from being a self-made individual, as opposed to yet another cog in the societal wheel. Is that you? Well, the good news is that every day that the sun comes up is an opportunity to start over. To allow someone to define you is to subscribe to a false belief that may not fit who you really are.

Another false belief is that changing your environment will improve your life. Divorce has become the new alka seltzer for relationship problems. You get a stomach ache, you take alka seltzer. You have problems in your marriage, you get a divorce. In some Southern States divorce has become so commonplace that the court structure meant to deal with alimony, child/spouse support and the granting of divorce decrees is near collapse. Tennessee now has mandatory counseling for couples considering divorce, hoping that some marriages can be saved. Lawmakers hope this will lessen the burden on the people and children involved, the services needed to police support payments, the court system in general and what it costs the state to deal with it all. A recent report supported that idea by showing that most people who get divorced end up more unhappy then people who stay in troubled marriages. The lesson? Before you call 1-800-d-i-v-o-r-c-e, try counseling. You may be able to change things for the better in your life and the lives of your family right where you are.

No matter what your situation is, being a stand-up individual that doesn't allow their friends, family, co-workers, peer group or some TV talk show host to define and dictate who you are is likely to improve your life. That's because it's always better to be YOU, then someone you are not. And when others tell you what you can't do or accomplish, remember that your ability to make things happen has nothing to do with anyone else's opinion of what you're capable or incapable of doing.

Thomas Edison was kicked out of school in the sixth grade because his teachers thought he was a simpleton, unable to concentrate on his work. Albert Einstein was a patent clerk in Switzerland who spent his spare time fooling around with theories. Babe Ruth was sent to a work house because he parents couldn't afford to keep him. Considered incorrigible, he spent more time on the streets then anywhere else, but turned an interest in baseball into a fabulous career. Always overweight, even that didn't stop him from being one of the greatest baseball players and most famous people of his time. More people once knew who Babe Ruth was, then who the vice president of the United States or the Mayor of New York was! President Franklin D. Roosevelt dug our nation out of a terrible depression and helped to win a war fought on more fronts then any other time in history and he did it all from a wheelchair.

Each one of these famous people stepped out of their circumstances and stepped up to being individuals that would allow nothing to stand in the way of their accomplishments. So what are YOU waiting for?

About the Author

A native New Yorker now living in Arizona, Bill Knell is a forty-something guy with a wealth of knowledge and experience. He's written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of subjects. A popular Speaker, Bill Knell presents seminars on a number of topics that entertain, train and teach. A popular radio and television show Guest, you've heard Bill on thousands of top-rated shows in all formats and seen him on local, national and international television programs.



AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd