The Second Time 'Another White Wedding?
That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white wedding dress, a beautiful church, luscious bridesmaids and the groom in tails. Plus all the trimmings and a heavenly reception and a great honeymoon.
Upsetting as it is, at least 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But we don't give up do we? Some 80 percent of us marry again. Hopefully, we're a little wiser, a little more experienced and a little more sensible the second time. And a little more relaxed.
The formal, traditional white wedding is not only expensive, it can be incredibly stressful despite the power of our dreams and fantasies and the years we spent imagining just how it would be. For most, the second time isn't seen as particularly suitable for a traditional white wedding.
While many of us settle for a simple exchange of vows and a much less formal party for friends and relatives, you may want to consider a couple delightful alternatives.
Remember, a second wedding is still a wedding. You and your other are making a real and significant commitment to a life together. It deserves to be marked off from the more mundane events of everyday life.
Events that are significant markers in our lives are normally weighted with significance by traditions, unusual activities, special psychological and social meanings. This makes them stand out and marks transitions from one phase of our life to a new phase. Anthropologists call them rites of passage and weddings are a prime example.
One lovely new development has been the growth of both theme weddings and destination weddings. They can be especially well suited to the second wedding. Theme weddings can be nearly anything you can conceive of 'from medieval with antique styled Gothic wedding dresses to the extremely casual styles associated with a beach wedding. You can truly let your imagination run riot. For you and your guests it can offer an absolutely unique experience that will be remembered forever.
Alternatively, destination weddings can be of any type. While the basic idea is that it takes place in some beautiful, exotic or historical setting, far from your day-to-day life, you can arrange for anything from a full-blown white wedding to a small cozy informal exchange of vows outdoors in a natural setting so lovely that no added frills are necessary.
Normally, a destination wedding combines the elements of the wedding and the honeymoon. You are already out of your daily existence. You've chosen a place you've always wanted to go. And you've shared it with those close to you. For your guests this is also an opportunity to enjoy a break from their day-to-day and combine the pleasure of being with you when you marry and a great vacation.
While I'm a great fan of the destination wedding, it can become complicated and you need to carefully check out all the details, from the local wedding laws to just who will marry you, where and how. Even within the US, laws vary significantly from state to state. For foreign destinations please don't jump into without doing your research.
You can find wedding planners, travel agents, resorts and hotels that can greatly ease the problems of organizing from a distance. Many resorts and hotels offer packages that include these services or can recommend local resources. Do not neglect checking references.
Obviously, economics play a significant role. You'll need to consider just what you can really afford and just what your guests can afford. Of course, it's always possible to make a destination wedding just the two of you. Sometimes an elopement is the best solution 'and then the whole thing from beginning to end can be a dreamy honeymoon.
Whatever your dream, you don't need to feel limited any longer by outmoded traditions and ancient etiquette. There's a new freedom we are all reaching for and it includes the option of structuring the important events in our lives to be more personally relevant and meaningful. From the wedding itself to the type and style of wedding dress, alternatives have grown incredibly in this new age. Why not make your marriage an expression of your uniqueness?
About the Author
Elena writes articles and resources about weddings and, particularly, all kinds of wedding dresses from traditional white wedding to maternity and theme wedding styles.