Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library

"Reasons You Aren';t Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or Stay Married"

Along with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or not to get a divorce or stay married can be a frightening time for most people, even if they know deep inside themselves that they have to actually make a decision, one way or another.

People are reluctant to embark on an 'emotionally driven' decision making process because they fear that it will be uncomfortable or painful for them. The irony here is obvious...if they need to make this decision, their life or a portion if it, is already uncomfortable. One thing is for certain, deciding whether to get a divorce or stay married is indeed a process.

This process, like any other, includes key elements'elements that need to be examined. The elements of this process are self-revealing and can only come from within the person making the decision. The decision making process is comprised of stages and viewpoints about those stages. Stages are smaller pieces of the overall process and the viewpoints of each of those stages are only defined by the person making the decision. If you're trying to decide whether or not you should get a divorce or stay married, you must look at the stage of life you are currently in, and understand how you feel about it by clearly defining your viewpoint about it.

Are you completely unhappy?

Relatively unhappy?

Partially unhappy?

Do you feel that your marriage is unhealthy enough that you intend to do something about it?


You can look back in the past and reflect on other stages of your life and examine how you felt about those stages if they contributed to your problem as you view it now. Reflecting on the past can be an effective way to identify key occurrences that may have shaped the way your viewpoint is currently. Reflecting also can help you to identify trends in behavior that may have contributed to your viewpoint. But in the end, the viewpoint and stage that matters most is the current one and that's the one that you need to define and assess most.

It is human tendency to reflect on the past and hold onto thoughts and feelings that were once good, but doing this might keep you in a stale mate if you dwell on the past too much. You have to look at the present time and actually "decide to decide" so to speak. Once you do realize that you need to decide whether or not to get a divorce, there will be things that will creep up that will actually keep you from taking action and deciding.

Here are 5 reasons you might not be deciding to take action when it comes to deciding whether you should get a divorce or stay married:

1. You know that the severity of divorce is something not to be taken lightly so you avoid that "potential" outcome by doing nothing.

I assure you, if you realize that divorce is serious, you're ahead of the game because it means that you will do what it takes to change your situation!

2. You haven't decided to take action because you think you actually do want a divorce, and you think that divorce can create emotional scars that take a long time to heal.

3. You know that, whatever the outcome, you're really not ready to face a potentially painful end result, so you avoid the situation all together.

4. You are just flat out scared to make a decision about divorce because you know that making this difficult decision will involve profound change and deep "self-examination". And, like most of us, you want to avoid the pain and discomfort that goes with that.

5. You just don't know where to start because you are confused due to the emotional complexities of the situation. You really don't know how you feel.

All are these are valid points, but they are really just excuses to do nothing.

And, if you do nothing, the problem will still remain. And that problem is "indecision".

You haven't committed to decide. If any of these things are keeping you from making a decision about whether to stay married, you're doing more harm to yourself than good. In fact, by doing nothing, you are only compounding your problem. You are contributing to your own unhappiness by not taking action and that is just flat out unhealthy!

The first stage to going through the process of deciding whether or not to get a divorce, is to overcome your fear of the potential outcome and embrace this 'emotionally driven' process. Defining your fears and identifying why you aren't making the decision, or at least starting the decision making process about getting a divorce or staying married, is the only way you will be able to reach your ultimate goal - making a final decision to either get divorced or try to work it out.

Author of "A Practical Guide To
Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A
Divorce", the eBook recommended by
counselors to thier clients.
Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Deciding on Divorce
Divorce reason


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd