Reasons For Breach in Marital Relations
Marriage is a most pious term in the dictionary of social institution. It is not only a lifetime bond between two persons but also a bond between two families. Divorce on the other hand is heartbreaking end of this relationship. It has detrimental effects on the divorcees but the brunt faced by the children of such couples is much more as compared to their divorced parents. There are many reasons contributing to breach in marital relationship, some of which are analyzed below.
Hold of one partner over the entire finances, is a state, which is not easily acceptable by the other spouse. In a situation where only one spouse has full authority over the checkbook, the relationship takes downward trend. Upon modest demand, the other partner is usually given some grant and he/she ultimately is reduced to the status of a dependant person. Instead of showing contentment for having authority over the whole finance, such spouses complain of additional load and express their grievance over the other partner's inability to contribute to the financial burden. When only one spouse has authorization of entire money of a family unit it ruins the marital relationship. It is often recommended by counselors that each spouse should possess some resources, but in a less privileged economy savings are unaffordable. Usually, if a partner can disburse finances without being answerable to the other, he/she has more sense of security and freedom in the marital relationship.
A number of males strongly consider that a female's every wish must be fulfilled. These men instead of refusing say "Yes" when their spouse behaves inappropriately and displays excessive self-centeredness in anticipation that one day the wife will improve her conduct. This behavior of the husband is professed as weak point and the wife derives huge benefits from this. It is better if from the very first day of marriage, the husband starts disagreeing with the spouse over the smallest unjustifiable demands. This behavior is more sensible. The spouse who never negotiates will always be on winning edge.
During a dispute it is always problematic to condemn the inappropriate actions taken by the spouse, in an inoffensive language. Without shouting obscenities or using abusive language in presence of the partner's colleagues etc, his appalling actions can be described. In number of marriages, spouses go overassertive over smallest issues. Although all spouses face disputes, only a few know how to resolve these. On the other hand, there are certain unreasonable malicious words and acts that traverse the limit. It is known to most of the spouses how to evade these, but some are not familiar with the ways, or some think they can liberally cosset themselves.
One of the major reasons that married people recognizes to mention as an excuse for divorce now a days is 'Communication Gap. Definitely it is true that when the couples try to take their marital relationship towards high levels of maturity, they face many personal and tricky problems. During this course, instead of having a serious conversation over the problems for a positive outcome, they tend to divert towards discourteous methods. Actually these couples essentially need a counselor who can educate them regarding methods of successful and serious talk without confrontation.
Healthy marital relations can be maintained in situations where when one spouse has incredible guilt and true penitence and the other has mature and realistic nobility or the couple has at least some similar interests that can outweigh the domineering disparities. However most of the partners precisely seek out new allies and affairs. An intentional and positive thought and momentary calm can prevent this double crossing affair. Positively, the passionate people have some kind of fear of the God. Trepidation creates some diffidence and they try to resolve disputes peacefully. Also in the present times couples are aware of the disastrous affects of divorce on children, so they try to restrain themselves from taking steps towards separation.
Many young couples consider that there is nothing beyond their marriage and here they make a big mistake. When a person does not allow his or her spouse to have friendship outside the marital life, and presumes that showing interest towards anyone else is a proof of betrayal, and whenever they are free they must be together, has noxious results. To be a part of the humanity is a human necessity because we all are social creatures. If a partner is constrained from maintaining healthy social relations with others, then he or she is encouraged to build up undisclosed and treacherous affairs. A number of husbands who strongly think that only dim-witted wives are endearing are not aware of their demeanor. Even such wives can really be very harsh and dictatorial. In a situation where the spouse is too courteous and is not in favor of fighting back the outcome may be appalling. A wife may become immature and childish indeed. Her self-centered behavior can match the behavior of a brat. She may develop some unhealthy habits like drinking, smoking etc. and at last move to the court. The repercussions are harmful not only for the couple but for their offsprings also. It is pertinent to mention here that most of the erroneous concepts of married life come from television soaps. Competing against each other for the control and authority over children is another type of conduct, which not only hampers the development of children but also affects the foundations of marital relationships.
The causes responsible for breach in marital relations are many. But the ties which are constructed by the institution of marriage are inherently strong and can easily confront obstacles, provided the levels of communication between the husband and wife are high and both treat each other as a friend rather than a competitor.
About the author:
He is an economic analyst with a law degree. He has keen interest in social issues and understands the importance of sharing knowledge with others. Being an amateur writer, he expresses his views and thoughts through short articles.
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