Trans4mind Home Page

What's Your Communication Style?

By Rinatta Paries

If you experience more conflict than contentment in your relationships, it might be due to mismatched communication styles. See if you can identify your relationship communication style...
If you find yourself frustrated, stifled, pushed, or confused about your current relationship or by the people you attract, take a look at the communication in your relationship and your relationship communication style.

Is your approach to communication well-matched with your current partner or with people you tend to attract? If so, you will tend to be fairly satisfied and content in your relationships. But if not, you will tend to be frustrated, feel either stifled or pushed, and may find yourself confused about the relationship much of the time.

Below is as list of five styles of communication in romantic relationships. As you read this list, ask yourself the following questions: Which style of communication do you identify with and are most comfortable? What is the style of communication of your current/past relationship? What style of communication is your current partner or the people you attract comfortable with? Five Styles of Communication in Romantic Relationships The Silent Couple
In this type of relationship, the partners may talk about the weather, current events, and other surface topics, but seldom speak about personal issues. They rarely share emotions, thoughts, hopes, or wishes. Both guess and/or assume what the other person may feel or think. Both may feel they are living parallel lives; they enjoy that someone is there, but rarely connect in a satisfying way.

The Argument-Avoiding Couple
Those in this type of relationship are geared to avoid conflict. The couple connects occasionally, but disconnect happens at any moment conflict appears. The disconnect may happen either by one partner becoming silent -- perhaps over an extended period of time, or by emotional or physical withdrawal. This is the kind of relationship where one person may say what the other one wants to hear simply to avoid conflict, without any intention of following through.

The Fighting Couple
This is a relationship where communication is primarily about what's wrong and how it is the other person's fault. Attempts at communication often disintegrate into arguments. The partners do not intend for the relationship to be this way, and perhaps even try not to fight. This is typically a relationship in crisis.

The Friends/Partners Couple
In this type of relationship, communication is open and honest on many levels. The couple can speak about a variety of issues with ease, ranging from very personal to very impersonal. The couple may work well together both at home and often on a business front. They are often very good friends and like each other very much. On the other hand, one or both people will avoid deep emotional and physical intimacy, perhaps to the point of not having a physically intimate relationship at all.

The Fully Intimate Couple
This is a relationship in which almost any topic can and is spoken about openly - from what's wrong, to memories from childhood and past relationships, to deep-held beliefs, to finances. The couple does not fear emotional or physical intimacy. Many people are not comfortable in nor desire this type of relationship -- it may appear as too much work. In fact, this type of relationship is difficult to maintain. Only a few couples can be fully intimate all of the time. To help you deal with and adjust the communication in your relationships, here are some important points to consider: It's fine to desire as little or as much intimacy, closeness, and communication as you want. But you might end up with a partner who either wants what you want or can grow/adjust to your levels.

A couple can move from one level of communication to another over time as a normal part of being in a relationship. All is well as long as the couple ultimately returns to the most intimate level of communication they have achieved together.

Be observant of what level you would like to function at with your partner and what level your partner comfortably functions at. Encourage as much intimacy as you are comfortable with. If you are single, date people who ultimately want the same level of intimacy you want. If you are not sure what they want, ask them -- they will tell you.

Sometimes a person only knows how to function on one communication level. This is what you want to watch out for when dating and forming relationships. If you form a relationship and your partner's level of communication does not match a level you are comfortable with, the two of you will struggle.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

About The Author
As a Master Certified professional relationship coach, Rinatta Paries works with hundreds of singles each month seeking her expertise in helping them find and attract loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. More than 10,000 subscribers read her weekly ezine, "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," filled with insightful, applicable and attainable relationship advice. Rinatta is a graduate of Coach University, a premier educational institution for training professional coaches, and a member of the International Coach Federation, an independent coaching certification organization. For more information, visit or email

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

The New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd