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Is Your Communication Causing You Problems At Work?

By Debra Fentress

Is Your Communication Causing You Problems at Work or Home?

It's said that in life we get what we communicate. We think all of our communication is with words when in reality only 7% is the words we use! Tone of voice is 38% and the rest,
55% is body language. If words comprise so little of our
communication then it's in our best interest to use them

The number one quality that sets a Leader of people apart from a manager of people is their ability to communicate.
Techniques and skills are great but if you can't get through to each individual you're wasting a valuable resource. The best managers and leaders are those who can communicate
their message in such a way that others just naturally want to get on board. Unfortunately, most people think they communicate better than they actually do. What's missing is
an understanding of how people communicate because we don't all do it the same.

Not only do we communicate with others in a specific way, we also process the information or communication in our own way. For instance, some of us like to see what you're talking about. We like for you to paint pictures with words. Others only like to hear about it and still others have to get a feeling about it for it to get through to them. And then there are those that have to have everything make

With all these things going on, it's no wonder we miss-communicate. To help you out, here are some simple tips
to increase your communication excellence.

1.) The meaning of your communication is the response you get!

If the other person is not "getting it", repeating what you've said or raising your voice won't get the
message across any better. It's your responsibility to communicate in such a way that the other person can
understand. Therefore, change the way you're communicating!

2.) People like people who are like them.

Become similar to another by matching nonverbal behavior.
Adjust your body to match their posture, tilt of head,gestures or curve of the spine. You can match almost any behavior; even breathing and blinking.

3.) Feed them their words.

Listen for words or phrases used repeatedly by the other person. Once you identify them, sprinkle them in your conversation.Your co-worker will feel like you really "get them".

4.) Stop the inner dialogue.

Instead of fully listening to another, many people start formulating what they are going to say even before the
other person has finished speaking. Stop the inner talk and count to 3 before speaking when you think they're
through. This ensures they are finished and allows you to respond to aLL that was said.

5.) Say "I" instead of "you".
In a disagreement, refrain from using the word "you". This sounds too much like blaming. Instead use phrases
starting with "I". Be careful of using this in such a way that it still comes across as a criticism, such as "I
feel you are doing a lousy job." Instead say something like, "I am concerned with the quality of work we are producing."

6.) Avoid the word "but".

Using "but" negates everything said preceding it. Instead,use a bridge word like "and". For instance, if you say, "I like what you did, but it needs improvement", all they hear
is "it needs improvement". Better to say, "I like what you did AND it needs improvement."

7.) Say it the way you want it.

The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. If I say to you, "Don't think of a blue tree", you will have to think of a blue tree in order to process what I said. So tell them how you really want it instead of what you don't want.

Utilizing these simple tips can positively impact your communication skills in both your personal and professional life. The best way is to do one until you're comfortable
with it and then gradually add the others. Remember, the more you practise the easier it gets.


Debra Fentress, owner and founder of Spiral Visions, Inc., and Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming is dedicated to assisting others in creating success in their
lives. At Spiral Visions, Inc. our business and professional seminars go beyond the typical management trainings. Our workshops are designed to be fun and experiential. Learning
studies show that our ability to learn is directly connected
to physical experience and a relaxed but alert environment. Translated this means we learn by doing.
Debra Fentress is available to individuals for their business and personal coaching needs.

To learn more and receive her monthly newsletter, visit her
Site at or contact her at

About the Author

Owner and founder of Spiral Visions, Inc. Debra is dedicated to assisting people to create lives of love, joy and happiness on a moment-to-moment basis. Debra has coached CEOs, government agencies, corporations and individuals to improve their lives, both professionally and personally.
Debra has a background in Psychology, is a Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and is a Certified Hypnotherapist.

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