Love & Gratitude are on Your Road to Freedom
By Gabriella Kortsch
Here we are near at the beginning of another New Year... and I'd like to suggest one simple two-pronged resolution for all my readers to keep for the entire year... in order to prove to yourselves what a difference it will make in your lives. One small resolution... a very different life.
Be grateful every day for five different things or qualities in your life that have been there on this day.
Be grateful every day for five different people that have been in your life on this day and have somehow added to the quality of this day.
What would happen if furthermore you made the decision to be grateful for something...even the smallest little something... every single time a negative or worrisome or stressful thought or feeling entered your mind or heart?
Can you imagine what a difference that would make? It would mean that instead of spending a major portion of your thinking time on things that bog you down, you would be spending it on things, or people, or qualities you are grateful for. Don't misunderstand me: I don't mean to imply that you should not spend time on solving your problems, but I do mean, that that only requires a certain amount of finite time every day, week, or month, depending on what the problem is. Once that portion of time has been used to try to solve the problem to the best of your ability, go elsewhere with your thoughts and feelings.
As this is quite difficult for many people, simply because it is not a habit, and simply because so many of us believe that if we don't think about our problems all the time, we are not being serious about our lives, what I am suggesting here is even more simple.
Rather than trying to figure out how to think of something that makes you feel good when the worrisome or negative thoughts hit, be grateful for something. This is very easy to do, once you get the hang of it...
- Did the doorman smile as you stepped out of the building? Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the smile and be grateful for the doorman's presence in your life.
- Did you catch a glimpse of brilliant blue sky as you opened your curtains this morning? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the smell of your coffee perking as you were drying yourself off after the shower? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the hot steam of water all over your body as you stood in the shower? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the softness of your towel as you dried off? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the immenseness of your oversize bath towel as you dried off? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy your pet's happiness at seeing you up and about? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the clean freshness of your mouth after brushing your teeth? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy sinking your teeth into a freshly toasted bagel? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy your early morning jog around this familiar area where you live? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the brief and friendly exchange with the newspaper vendor at the kiosk? Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the exchange and be grateful for the vendor's presence in your life.
- Did you enjoy the crisp sound of snapping open a fresh newspaper to read as you have your coffee at your neighbourhood café? Be grateful for that.
- Did you enjoy the sunshine in smile on the waiter's face as he took your order for coffee and a bagel? Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the friendliness of the waiter and be grateful for the waiter.
- Did you enjoy your partner's touch on your skin in bed before you got up? Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the touch and be grateful for your partner.
- Did you just start worrying about paying the bills at the end of the month? Be grateful for one of the above items. It will help keep you in a better energetic frequency in order to make better decisions about the bills
- Did you just get angry once again because the elevator still isn't fixed? Be grateful for one of the above items. It will help keep you in a better energetic frequency, so that the problem elevator doesn't ruin the next 30 minutes or 3 hours of your day by continuing to dwell on it.
- Did you just feel low as you woke up and looked out of the window and saw the grey skies? Be grateful for one of the above items. It will help keep you in a better energetic frequency, so that you will be able to start looking at your day more positively.
The second prong to this resolution is just as simple, although just as unaccustomed, and thus will also require a bit of practice to make it a habit. Remember, once it's a habit, you'll do it without needing to remind yourself, and new habits can be formed in as little as three weeks, if you keep reminding yourself to do the new thing.
Send the intention of love from somewhere inside of you to at least five different people every day that do something to annoy you, make you impatient, anger you, etc. Instead of thinking (or speaking) the invectives you normally would, ask yourself to intend love for that person. You might say something like this in your mind: May love fill your life. Or: Go in love.
That's it. If you still need to speak to this person about something, do so only after having gone through this nano-second exercise in your mind. Your words will generally come out differently than they might have if you had not done this first.
- Did someone get in line in front of you at the supermarket? Send them love. (You can still speak up for your rights in a pleasant manner)
- Did someone cut you off in traffic, almost causing you to have an accident? Send them love. (Why waste time on getting angry about them?)
- Did your partner again forget to take out the garbage or wash the car? Send him/her love. (Maybe it's a good time to revise who does what around the house based on each individual's choices rather than on what should be.)
- Did you daughter scream at you? Send her love. (Yes, healthy boundaries and civilized manners must also be established, but her scream is most probably fueled by an underlying cry for help).
- Did your boss ask you to come in on Saturday? Send her love. (But also give some thought to the frequency of Saturdays you are spending at the office, and consider having a talk about it with your boss, based on your productivity, sales, efficiency, know-how, etc. with a view to either increasing your salary, benefits, or curtailing such extra hours)
- Did your neighbour criticize the state of your lawn? Send him love. (You don't have to agree with him, just let him have his opinion, period.)
I hope you understood that the purpose for this is first and foremost your own inner state of well-being and balance. In other words, although you are sending something positive to the other person, which will translate into an energetic transmission that is beneficial to them, it is, in actual fact, destined to make you feel better, rather than how you would feel, if you gave in to your primordial instinct to snap at them, or send them invectives from car to car, etc. (Before you pooh-pooh this, remember how much you can feel if you enter a room full of hostile people, or happy people, or worried people...most of us are able to feel what others are feeling in certain circumstances).
Furthermore, this is not about you being a wimp. It is not about you not speaking up for your rights. But it is about you being - living - taking yourself into a higher energetic frequency simply by the way you react to situations and by the two-pronged resolution you make.
- Be grateful every day for five different things or qualities in your life that have been there on this day.
- Be grateful every day for five different people that have been in your life on this day and have somehow added to the quality of this day.
- Find something to be grateful for (to move your thoughts or feelings toward) every time you feel a negative emotion or have a negative thought.
- Send the intention of love from somewhere inside of you to at least five different people every day that do something to annoy you, make you impatient, anger you, etc., no matter who these people are, or what your relationship to them is.
Remember, the more you do this, especially during the first 21 days, the more it will become a habit.
Once it's a habit, you will want to have the benefits of this process, and you will find it harder and harder not to do it, i.e., you will eventually do it automatically.
You can choose to ignore this, ridicule this, or decide that it is not for you, because it simply doesn't apply to your life, or you can choose to do this. This much I can guarantee you: if you choose to do this, your life will alter dramatically and for the better. The energy inside of you, and the energy you will attract towards yourself will increase in your benefit. Such a decision also forms part of your journey towards inner freedom.
Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D. (Psychology), author of Rewiring the Soul, is a practicing psychotherapist who works with an international clientele in Marbella, Spain using an integral focus on body, mind and soul. She has published a newsletter in English and Spanish since 2004, facilitates monthly workshops and broadcast a weekly radio show both locally in Spain, as well as on the internet for seven years. Prior to her work in private practice she was Director of Sales & Marketing at several luxury beach properties in Spain and Mexico and was married to a diplomat. She has three sons.
Read more articles by Gabriella at the Counterpoint Article Library.