A Course In Miracles, Lesson 55 plus Commentary by Allen Watson
Today's review includes the following:
(21) I am determined to see things differently.
What I see now are but signs of disease, disaster and death. This cannot be what God created for His beloved Son. The very fact that I see such things is proof that I do not understand God. Therefore I also do not understand His Son. What I see tells me that I do not know who I am. I am determined to see the witnesses to the truth in me, rather than those which show me an illusion of myself.
(22) What I see is a form of vengeance.
The world I see is hardly the representation of loving thoughts. It is a picture of attack on everything by everything. It is anything but a reflection of the Love of God and the Love of His Son. It is my own attack thoughts that give rise to this picture. My loving thoughts will save me from this perception of the world, and give me the peace God intended me to have.
(23) I can escape from this world by giving up attack thoughts.
Herein lies salvation, and nowhere else. Without attack thoughts I could not see a world of attack. As forgiveness allows love to return to my awareness, I will see a world of peace and safety and joy. And it is this I choose to see, in place of what I look on now.
(24) I do not perceive my own best interests.
How could I recognize my own best interests when I do not know who I am? What I think are my best interests would merely bind me closer to the world of illusions. I am willing to follow the Guide God has given me to find out what my own best interests are, recognizing that I cannot perceive them by myself.
(25) I do not know what anything is for.
To me, the purpose of everything is to prove that my illusions about myself are real. It is for this purpose that I attempt to use everyone and everything. It is for this that I believe the world is for. Therefore I do not recognize its real purpose. The purpose I have given the world has led to a frightening picture of it. Let me open my mind to the world's real purpose by withdrawing the one I have given it, and learning the truth about it.
Commentary by Allen Watson
The pattern laid down by the first fifty lessons becomes clearer with each day of review. The writing in these ten review lessons is among the clearest and most straightforward in the entire Course.
Of course I am determined to see things differently; "disease, disaster and death" are not what I want to see. That I see them proves I do not understand God, and I do not know who I am. The world I see pictures attack thoughts, "attack on everything by everything". In this world everything lives by consuming the life of something else; whether it is the life of an animal or a plant makes little difference. Even the lowest life form lives from the energy given off by the destruction of the Sun. What gives rise to this picture? My own attack thoughts.
"My loving thoughts will save me from this perception of the world". Changing my mind from attack to love will change the world I see. "It is this I choose to see, in place of what I look on now".
And no wonder I am confused about my best interests! I don't know who I am; how could I know what I need? I am willing to accept the guidance of One Who knows me; I understand that I can't perceive my best interests by myself. I use everything to sustain my illusions about myself. What I need is a way to let the world teach me the truth about myself. Seeing it as I see it, the world is frightening; I want to know the truth.
The transformation hinges on my willingness to recognize that I do not like what I see, and since what I see comes from what I think, I want to change what I think. I do not know my best interests, and the purpose I have assigned to everything has been twisted to support my ego identity, so now I am willing to let these ideas go. Confused as I am, how could I teach myself what I do not know? I need a reliable, trustworthy Teacher, and in the Holy Spirit I have that Teacher.
My only job is to make myself teachable by letting go of my false thinking, letting go of my attack thoughts. I think they sustain me but they are destroying me. I resolve today to choose differently, and to open my mind to a way of thinking I cannot, as yet, begin to understand. I open my heart to love.