Last year, I visited an old friend, Danielle, in Santa Monica, California. She had recently ended a relationship and was busy dating. Her experiences illustrate several spiritual principles that are important to bear in mind, especially concerning matters of the heart.
Danielle complained to me that while the man she was dating was fun and interesting, he wasn't very attentive. Days would go by without any contact. I suggested that "He's just not that into you," as the recent movie suggested.
I asked her, "What is it you really want?" This is the first step to manifestation.
At the top of a list, she wrote, "I'm dating a man who adores me and wants to spend time with me."
I also suggested she check in with Roberta, a mutual friend of ours, who is highly intuitive.
Roberta told Danielle that she would soon attract a man who would "sweep her off her feet - just like in the movies." Danielle added that description to her list.
Two days later, Danielle had a first date with a new prospect, Todd. Within an hour of being at a fine restaurant together, Todd had told her, "You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. Now that I've found you, I won't ever let you go. No matter what happens, I will be your friend forever."
As they continued eating, a flower girl approached and asked, "Would you like to buy a rose for the lady?" Todd bought all 14 of her remaining roses and presented them to Danielle.
A friend of Danielle's happened to be in the restaurant and told her the next day, "It was just like a movie."
Danielle had manifested exactly what she had envisioned, but she told me she was still a little concerned. She asked me if I felt her new friend was sincere, voicing that she felt his gesture was a little "over the top."
I suggested she stay positive and move forward, but proceed cautiously before jumping in with her heart. Yes, I felt he was sincere, but my concern was whether he would be just as sincere a week later in professing his undying love for some new woman.
Danielle was smitten, however. Todd had told her he would be out of town for a week, and for the next three days, he texted her messages every few hours. He told her he would fly Danielle and her daughter to wherever he was working, so he could spend more time with her. He made plans to see her as soon as he returned that Saturday. Danielle made him a gift for his upcoming birthday.
On the fourth day, Danielle received no texts or calls. On the fifth day, she got a text from Todd, saying he would not likely be in the LA area for the next six months and that she should not expect to see him much.
Danielle was angry and actually surprised at how angry she was. After all, she had only had one date with Todd and had known him for less than a week. I was sympathetic, while sharing my observation that "reality did not meet her expectations." At the least, she expected to have a second date with the man who "had waited for her his entire life" but the reality was that he was not available.
"Even worse," I said, "you're angry at yourself, because right from the start you were hesitant; but you allowed yourself to raise your expectations. When your new, higher expectations were not met, you became livid."
Again, she agreed.
We re-read Danielle's list that described her ideal man. Without prompting, she gasped and said, "I never specifically asked for someone who was available - just someone who would want to spend time with me!"
Danielle revised her list to include that the man be available. Nothing else changed. She still envisioned someone who would want to sweep her off her feet - just like in the movies.
The next day she drove into the parking lot at the local market. Before she could even put up her car window, a man came over, looked into her eyes and told her, "I just have to tell you this. You are absolutely gorgeous."
She smiled and thanked him, as he slowly walked away.
When she returned to her car, she found his card with a handwritten-note on the back under her wiper. "I'd like to get to know you. Please call or text me."
Danielle did. She has already met Jake for several enjoyable dates.
He has all the qualities she listed - and he's available.
My friend's recent dating adventures demonstrates the importance of getting clear on exactly what you want. It also shows the role of anger in alerting you when expectations are not matching reality. In both instances, if you're not getting what you want, you'll have to take corrective action.
To her credit, that's what Danielle did. Instead of reacting by sulking at her misfortune or pining away, hoping her unavailable man would suddenly appear, she modified her request to the universe. The universe responded by creating the desired reality she was seeking.
This is taking enlightened action. When we act in alignment with universal principles, fulfillment of desires comes naturally. And that's something worth striving for!
Edwin Harkness Spina is the author of the award-winning, visionary thriller Mystic Warrior, and a contributing author, along with Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Joe Vitale and others, to the bestseller, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life.
Ed offers practical mystical techniques to improve people's lives and expand their minds. Previously, he was a venture capitalist, entrepreneur, software designer and business consultant. Ed has an MBA from the University of Chicago and a BSE from Tufts University.