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Awaken the Courage to be Kind

By Guy Finley

I know someone who drives me crazy, and I want to help him by sharing the truths I am learning. Without using interfering tactics, how can we help others to come awake to themselves?

One of the most difficult aspects of our work is learning to bear the unpleasant manifestations of people around us. But this can also help us grow quickly. If by interfering tactics you mean, "make someone see the light," it is impossible. But if we will do our work, which often requires waiting out our own unpleasantness before speaking, then not only can we lend someone a helpful word or action, but they will see that we are behaving differently. This willingness on our part to inwardly accept the weight of our own burdens first is really the best invitation to others to become interested in this Work.

I see a great opportunity arising soon to speak the truth to someone about something, but I am deathly afraid to do so! Where can I find the courage I need to proceed?

If you can see the truth of the following insight, it will lend you a surprising form of strength: Refusing any life-lessons increases their density. Besides which, there is no escaping the lessons that life would have us learn. Don't think about the outcome of being truthful; consider instead the effects of living with lies. Then, come awake and proceed!

If we know ahead of time that the right action is going to cause someone to suffer because of his or her falseness, that doesn't mean we shouldn't take the action, does it? If that is the case, what is the limit to inducing suffering to others?

Whenever a right action presents itself to be taken, it should be taken. But let's be careful for a moment about "right action." One good way to know if your action is a right one as it concerns "straightening out" someone else is what you feel if you don't take that action. This is sensitive ground. One must be careful. Sometimes we must say certain corrective things to others. But one especially valuable inner practice is to wait for some period of time before expressing our view. This pause allows whoever takes it the chance to inwardly taste the nature that wants to make the correction. If there is pressure to correct someone, you can be fairly certain your correction is not a right one, even if the words spoken are true. On the other hand, some of the best moments to point out confusion in others are when you are most afraid to do so. Then the odds are that not only is your action right, but that person is likely to benefit from it as well.

Excerpted from "Seekers Guide to Self-Freedom" by Guy Finley, © 2002, Llewellyn Publications.
About Guy Finley
Best-selling “Letting Go” author Guy Finley’s encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues – relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom – and lead the way to a higher life.

Guy is the acclaimed author of The Secret of Letting Go and more than 37 other books and audio programs that have sold over a million copies in 16 languages worldwide.

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