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Instantaneous Courage for Relationships

By Steve Wickham

Things do not change with ease in this life; not unless it's change that others - in their wisdom, or via their position - bring in and over the top of us. Add to this the fact that we'll never be taken seriously unless we act in courage.

These two phenomena enjoin to produce the requirement for courage if we're going to make any sort of real impact in our lives - personally or professionally.

But it's hard to be consistently courageous in the place of our rapport with people, because it involves the need to risk at uncomfortable levels for sustained periods.

We want to be one hundred percent honest with people and our situations, but dissonance comes because we will upset people if we can't get our points across skilfully enough. And nobody is consistently skilful in dealing with people. It's even worse for 'feelers' who'll tend to shirk the risk, picking a more conservative track with their interpersonal relations. Many want for courage.

Now... courage is the moral premise generating power for life at the level of truth.

With the above discussion out of the way we can readily see our need of courage for better life outcomes.

Enlisting courage is first of all about understanding that proactive change - the change we can and want to control - is within our realm; it always was and always is.

Second, it's knowing that when we're courageously honest in our dealings with people we'll shortcut many complicating problems, especially those due to communication failures of diligence. Most of our communications failures are due to a lack of foresight and care - diligence. It beckons understanding that most of our relationship issues are due to insufficient or inappropriate communication.

Courage in communication is vital; to be honest, and also faithful, in relating with people requires from us the moral fibre implicit of courage.

Can courage be any more than a commitment to learn and do better? Certainly that's where it starts. We also have to acknowledge the importance of others. If we expect to be treated with value, we must treat others with value (Matthew 7:12). This motivates our courage - it's not just for us, but others too.

To enlist courage:.

1. Start with a conscious commitment for courage and add triggers so as to enable the mind to consciously (and subconsciously) train itself.

2. Look for instances where truth is not lived; analyse these so better approaches against shrinking from courage might be used in future.

3. Make full use of good examples of relational courage by celebrating them. Use an appreciative mindset or, in other words, dig deeply into the reasons you were able to be honest in the face of relational risk or fear, so confidence for next time is added.

Copyright (c) 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: and
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