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The path of apparent least resistance: "I've decided to give up on my dreams."

By Pam Garcy

Part 6. .

Ever say that one to yourself? Ever stop yourself before you really even get started? I heard someone say it the other day. He said, "I just take the path of least resistance." Sometimes, this is the right thing to do. But, when this becomes a default response to all of life, it can actually create more struggle than simply honoring yourself. A lack of fulfillment in life can lead to depression, anxiety, anger problems, relationship stress and more.

If you find that you use the above statement (I've decided to give up on my dreams) to stop yourself, first consider the function of it..

•Is it helping you to accept life conditions that you absolutely cannot change? In this case, it might be that you are coping with something very challenging, and your current decision is actually helpful to youIn such cases, you might want to continue to do this until you can move from a place of "surviving" into a place of "thriving".
•Alternatively, is it allowing you to run away from feeling a little bit uncomfortable, even when there are abundant opportunities that you could pursue, if you simply decided to do so?
If you begin to move in the direction of your dreams, but then you back away, you may be avoiding dealing with an uncomfortable anxious or fearful feeling. This feeling may be something that arises for you when you step outside of your comfortable set of behaviors, called a "comfort zone". See if you can become clearer about the source of this feelingAre you afraid of:

Having to work hard?
Having to learn something new?
All of the above?!!
To help you to begin to break past this avoidant style, here are some questions to consider:

•Did you ever stop to think what might happen in your life over the long term if you continue on the path of apparent least resistance?
•What will happen if you ignore your still small voice, the one that is urging you to be honor your inclinations?
•    Is it possible that it might be more painful to ignore your inner desires than to attend to them, if you ignore them long enough?
•    How might you be cheating others in the process?
•    What might happen if you changed your mind and decided to reawaken even just one of those dreams?
You may be saying, "Okay, but it has been so long since I've honored myself, I don't even know what I want anymore. How can I get back in touch with that?" First, find yourself a quiet place. Allow your mind to become quiet. If you'd like, you might want to ask yourself a series of questions and see what arises for yourself. Here are some examples of questions you might ask yourself:

•    How would life look if I were totally fulfilled?
•    What would be going on?
•    What could I be enjoying?
•    What is the first step toward more fulfillment and happiness in my life?
Sometimes, it is good to take a small step in the direction of your dreams, just to see if they might still be there after all. Just a teency weency step....because there's only one you.    

Next issue: Part 7.

Pam Garcy, PhD is a Psychologist and Coach in Dallas, Texas. If you'd like a partner in reaching your goals and overcoming the obstacles that seem to stand in your way, please contact Dr. Pam for coaching at Dr. Garcy offers a special 10% coaching discount to all valued subscribers of Cultivate Life and to customers of Dr. Pam's best-selling books - including the bestsellers The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On and Wake Up Moments of Inspiration

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