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"I'm afraid of rejection."

By Pam Garcy

Do you fear of rejection? You might prevent yourself from growing due to this fear. You might believe that if you start to take steps in your own direction, you will be rejected, disparaged, mocked, and ostracized by others.

Below are some initial questions and ideas that I'd encourage you to consider:

1. Do you really know that you will be rejected? Is it really true that this person will reject you, rather than support you? Have you taken steps to explore whether your assumption is true? It is often surprising how others can become your supporters and cheerleaders! Just as an exercise, pick someone to declare your long-term dream to and see how they respond. For example, I was surprised by how supportive my husband was when I cautiously told him about my dream to write a book.

2. If you are facing actual rejection, ask yourself, "What is the price-tag attached to pursuing my own direction?" Sometimes, when you really stop and look at it, you realize that rejection is a small price to pay for fulfilling your dream. For example, couples who have decide to pursue mixed-religion or mixed-race marriages occasionally find that they are rejected by others in their social circle. Such a couple might decide that the cost of facing such rejection is worth the benefit of pursuing their relationship,

3. Also, keep in mind that the rejection you face may only be temporary. Have you ever noticed how others can "come around" over time? What might happen in the best case? They may even grow to accept and even embrace your decision!

4. Ever consider compromising efficiency for ease? Sometimes, moving slowly toward your goal is the answer. Small, slow steps may be easier for everyone, including you. Tolerating a bit of initial discouragement may be easier than tolerating a complete withdrawal of support. For example, in some cases it might be saner for a college student to learn to play guitar on the weekends rather than abruptly dropping out of college to join a rock band!

5. What is the worst thing that could happen? If it happens, what would you do? How would you go on? Coping is a decision.

6. Are there other sources of support? Is it possible that there are others out there who are able to help you, support you, and encourage you? Would it be helpful to you to start to search for such support?

Pam Garcy, PhD is a Psychologist and Coach in Dallas, Texas. If you'd like a partner in reaching your goals and overcoming the obstacles that seem to stand in your way, please contact Dr. Pam for coaching at drgarcy@aol.comDr. Garcy offers a special 10% coaching discount to all valued subscribers of Cultivate Life and to customers of DrPam's best-selling books - including the bestsellers The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On and Wake Up Moments of Inspiration are available at

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