Introduction     Search/Sitemap
Trans4mind Home Page

"I don't want to disappoint anyone."

By Pam Garcy

This is Part 2 of a multi-part article by Pam Garcy.  Each week Cultivate Life! Magazine will bring the next section until the article is complete.

Are you trapped by a demand that you place upon on yourself that you must not disappoint anyone? This belief can stop you from adopting the "mindset of walking" that I discussed in the previous issue.

It is unrealistic to believe that you must never disappoint anyone. Even if you are working hard to gain the approval of others, you are likely to inadvertently offend someone or another along the way. While this belief might not bother you most of the time, it probably bothers you when you risk facing the disapproval of others.

Rather than demanding that you must never disappoint anyone, consider a more flexible approach.

You might say, "I'd prefer to have everyone's love and approval. I might often work to gain it. However, while I'd strongly prefer to gain their approval, rather than their disappointment, I don't have to have this approval to have a satisfying life! I can continue to enjoy my life as much as possible, even if I occasionally disappoint others." You can put this into your own words, but then it is up to you to adopt it as a mindset by reminding yourself of it STRONGLY. Repeat this to yourself often to give you strength.

Usually, when you adopt and practice a more flexible, forgiving, and less stringent approach to yourself, you will feel freer to take steps upon your own path!

Did you know that... Many therapists have noticed that demanding phrases upon ourselves, others, and life-conditions get us into trouble (use of musts, shoulds, have to's, need to's, etc.). By the same token, preferential or flexible phrases usually begin to get us out (prefer to's, like to's, want to's, don't have to's) !

Next issue: Part 3.

Pam Garcy, PhD is a Psychologist and Coach in Dallas, Texas. If you'd like a partner in reaching your goals and overcoming the obstacles that seem to stand in your way, please contact Dr. Pam for coaching at drgarcy@aol.comDr. Garcy offers a special 10% coaching discount to all valued subscribers of Cultivate Life and to customers of DrPam's best-selling books - including the bestsellers The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On and Wake Up Moments of Inspiration are available at

You'll find good info on many topics using this non-tracking facility:
Back to Issue Contents       Cultivate Life! Magazine Archive
HomeSitemapEmail Webmaster