Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Coaching at Home

By Kathleen Moore
Coaching for Transformation

I stepped into the role of coach instead of mom in this session with our 19-year-old son. He was back from his freshman year in college and brought with him some behaviors that were outside of the boundaries of what we could accept in our home. The high school years had been tough as he was caught drinking on several occasions including one time when he showed up to school drunk. As his mom, and president of the school board, I was especially challenged by his defiance.

As parents we saw each mistake as an opportunity for growth and worked hard to help our children learn. However, when he moved home from college for the summer and his brother found pot in his room, it was time to coach him as an adult instead of parenting him as a child. With two younger children left at home who were influenced by his choices, something had to change. I was able to self-manage by reminding myself that he was now an adult who was perfectly capable of discovering for himself what was possible with the assistance of a coach.

Coach: Would it be okay to identify some of your values?

Andrew: Okay.

Coach: I will share a few that I see and then ask you to add to the list. The things I see as important to you include independence, privacy and adventure or risk taking. Do those seem like values for you?

Andrew: Yes.

Coach: What other values can you identify as important?

Andrew: Privacy is a big one. Respect. Fun is important. I don’t know any others.

Coach: What about family relationships?

Andrew: Of course.

Coach: At this age how does your value around family relationships fit with independence?

Andrew: They are both important.

Coach: What does it look like to have a strong relationship with family when your need for independence puts you at odds with family values?

Andrew: It doesn’t work but I want to make my own choices.

Coach: What options are there for preserving your relationships and being independent?

Andrew: I don’t know.

Coach: Is there something you could do to have a relationship with family and make your own choices?

Andrew: I could choose not to live at home.

Coach: That is one option. What else?

Andrew: I could respect the family expectations and make different choices about how I use my independence.

Coach: What would that look like?

Andrew: I could live at home to be with family but not break the rules at home.

Coach: And how does that feel?

Andrew: Hard. But I think it is possible.

As a result of this coaching many things shifted. He remained at home and found other ways to feel independent. This would not have happened if a line had been drawn in the sand and the options had been presented by me as his mom.


Excerpt from the book Coaching for Transformation: Pathways to Ignite Personal & Social Change by Martha Lasley, Virginia Kellogg, Richard Michaels and Sharon Brown. As faculty at Leadership that Works, they certify coaches who offer personal, organization and community transformation. Check out the free Power of Coaching teleclass.

Coaching is life-changing, world-changing work. The coaching programs at Leadership that Works go beyond theories and models and work with clients on a deeper level. You learn how to coach the whole person: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Whole person Transformation.

Leadership that Works

Transforming the world.
One heart at a time.

More articles from Coaching for Transformation

Out of the box
PODCAST: Peter Shepherd about Transitions in Life
Learn more   Download MP3   Trans4mind Podcasts
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd