Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Listening for Transformation

By Martha Lasley, Virginia Kellogg,
Richard Michaels & Sharon Brown

Coaching for Transformation

The human spirit and the human condition improve when people hear each other deeply.

Listening is foundational to the coaching process. The three levels of listening are self-focused listening, client-focused listening and transformation-focused listening.

Self-focused listening

Self-focused listening includes paying attention to our thoughts, body, emotions and intuition. When we bring awareness to what is happening within, in the moment, we recognize the choice to shift from reaction and judgment to the wisdom of the entire body-mind system. This heightened awareness makes intuition more accessible.

For instance, in the middle of a session, if we notice tension or we start thinking about a conflict from yesterday, we can bring our attention into the tension and the body lets go. Our physical sensations and emotions can be a distraction or they can inform the coaching. If we sense that we are distracted by our inner experience, we can choose to come back to be more fully present with the client.

If we sense our thoughts are stimulated by our client’s experience, we can ask, “What does my inner confl ict want?”

When we cultivate inner awareness and follow our intuition, the coaching is more in tune with what is happening in the moment. We become more effective and model the practices we want our clients to develop. Self-awareness nourishes our ability to listen deeply to another.

Self-focused listening ranges from paying attention to transient thoughts to deep awareness of what is happening in the moment. When our attention is focused in the now, we shift from thinking to awareness. Awareness has the brilliant function of allowing choice and is more in tune with the needs in the moment. When we notice what is happening within ourselves, without judging, we are more successful in being present and available.

Examples:

Noticing our limiting beliefs about what the client is saying

Staying present with or exploring the meaning of the butterflies in our stomach

Listening to our intuition telling us to explore our feeling of alarm

Trusting our desire to share a metaphor

Noticing that we are triggered, we choose in the moment to journal after coaching so that we can be present with our client now

Client-focused listening

In client-focused listening we narrow our focus so all our attention is on the other person. Listening to content and word choice gives us clarity about what is most important to the speaker. But we also listen for what the client is not saying. We pay attention to the nuances of their mannerisms, pace, volume and tone. Conscious, clear, empathic listening fosters self-awareness and affi rms their experience.

Examples:

Hearing the words of the story and listening for the underlying desires

Listening for the values at stake when the client appears to be stuck

Noticing the excitement as the voice gets louder or more energized

Hearing the change in emotions when the client shifts to new revelations

Sensing the underlying desire for relief as our client repeatedly says he doesn’t want to talk about sadness

Transformation-focused listening

Transformation-focused listening is being attentive to all that’s happening within ourselves, our clients and the environment. Hearing the whole symphony, we have a heightened sense of the flow of the coaching conversation and the clients’ inner process. We can sense the openings, new possibilities, emerging opportunities and forces that generate change.

Awareness is inherent in transformation-focused listening, which creates an environment that fosters opportunities for profound personal transformation. As a coach, we intuit moments of opening—opportunities for our clients to explore feelings and insights and to become aware of what is waiting to be born.

At the heart of transformation-focused listening we attune to who people are becoming and what possibilities are emerging. Holding people as resourceful and whole supports transformational listening.

Examples:

Noticing the shift when the client is talking about something ordinary and then sees a bigger picture

Sharing intuition that takes the client to an intriguing realization

Focusing on the same thing at the same time in an eff ortless flow with the client that moves into new territory

Following the client’s lead with a mutual sense of unfolding creativity as you go

Noticing the client’s words are particularly charged with energy and sensing her attunement with her inner truth

Shifting the focus of listening

We can hold our attention on all three areas of listening simultaneously, or we can hold our focus on one area, staying continuously aware of what will serve the client. For instance, we may shift through all three areas of focus rapidly when we connect with our intuition. Intuition is informed by self-focused awareness, and when we share it, we pick up the reaction as we shift to a client focus, and then shift to the focus on transformation.

Enhancing our listening

We can enhance our listening by practicing the following:

Creating trust—reduces resistance

Being curious—cultivates receptivity

Staying in the moment—increases engagement

Reflecting core values—enhances ownership

Allowing for silence—creates space for intuition and feeling

Capturing opportunities—generates proactive behavior
Excerpt from the book Coaching for Transformation: Pathways to Ignite Personal & Social Change by Martha Lasley, Virginia Kellogg, Richard Michaels and Sharon Brown. As faculty at Leadership that Works, they certify coaches who offer personal, organization and community transformation. Check out the free Power of Coaching teleclass.

Coaching is life-changing, world-changing work. The coaching programs at Leadership that Works go beyond theories and models and work with clients on a deeper level. You learn how to coach the whole person: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Whole person Transformation.

Leadership that Works

Transforming the world.
One heart at a time.

More articles from Coaching for Transformation

Out of the box
PODCAST: Peter Shepherd about Transitions in Life
Learn more   Download MP3   Trans4mind Podcasts
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd