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Kicking a Dead Horse

By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler

Does your past history control your life today? How can you tell if your past is having a negative effect on your life today? Try this: Would you kick a dead horse, then get mad when it would not get up and pull your cart down the road? I don't think so! But if you're not achieving the lifestyle you truly desire, it is probable that painful old memories are in control of both your present AND your future.

The painful experiences those memories are based on are dead and gone alright. But the minute you bring them back into the present, they also take control of your future. So your cart (your hopes and dreams) just sits right there and does not go anywhere.

One certain sign that's happening is if certain situations seem to always trigger the same out-of-control emotional reactions. Many of us just 'fly off' if an old 'pain button' is pushed. You might break into a cold sweat and lose your voice at the mere thought of challenging your superior at work, even though he or she is taking advantage of you. Or you may fly into a rage if someone questions your ability to complete even the most insignificant task.

Chances are all of the logical approaches to changing such out-of-control reactions have failed. That is because old memories like these cannot be accessed or controlled using logic. The fact is, they can only be accessed using the power that memorized them in the first place - emotional power. It takes focused, passionate desire to get stuff like this out of your way. Here are some steps you can take to help neutralize the negative of painful past events:

  • Reclaim your power.
    The fact is, the past IS PAST. You do not have to deny any unfortunate things that have happened to you. But why would you choose to re-create and re-experience them in the present? You have ALREADY survived those challenges and come out on top. Let it go!
  • Stop Blaming.
    The minute you blame someone or something else for your problems or challenges - you literally thrown your own power away. Release your habit of blaming anyone (including yourself) for current frustrations or unhappiness. Blame is unnecessary baggage. It just prevents you from moving forward and findings solutions to your challenges. You can kick that dead horse until you break your foot — but it still won't get up and pull your cart down the street.
  • Forgive and Move On.
    Oh? You made some mistakes? Actually a big part of our intelligence (our all-important associative emotional intelligence) ONLY learns by making mistakes. So stop beating yourself up for your mistakes. This is truly just part of the learning process. No mistakes = zero personal growth. And zero personal growth = more of the same in your life. Just straighten up your tie (or sling your purse over your shoulder) and press on.
  • Pick a New Theme Song.
    If you are stuck in a rut in terms of how you feel about yourself and your potential - it's time for a new theme song. This is not a light-weight issue. Become aware of the repetitive thoughts that run through the back of your mind (or the song you are humming to yourself). You'll discover your theme — the message your subconscious mind is sending you — based on your past memories. Pick a new, more positive message or theme song. Replace the old one with something more positive and empowered.
  • Stop Looking Over your Shoulder.
    You will never rise above your past as long as you compare your present situation and challenges to the past. Actually that is a great way to be sure you repeat the same old mistakes. Focus on how you want your life to be right now and in the future. Keep your eye on the road, instead of on the rear view mirror.

The past only exists as you choose to re-create it in the present moment. And those memories are actually based on your interpretations of what happened to you. What would happen if you chose to stop letting your past limit you ... and instead committed to step into your passion and take control of your future? Come find out how...

Copyright © 2006 Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, Brain/Mind Researcher, All Rights Reserved
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