If You Want to Move Forward, You Have to Kick Some Buts
By Joyce Shafer
Energy is always in motion; but you can feel stuck when your thinking process goes in opposing directions. Here's an effective way to get your thinking and energy moving in one direction only.
Is it even possible to think in opposing directions? Yes. It happens when you say or think, "I want (this), but…" Attention on what you believe opposes what you want (whatever follows the "but") will never, ever lead you to what you do want. This opposing motion makes your energy and your life feel stuck in place. To shift this you need to find and kick your own buts.
There's a lot of talk these days about surrendering to what-is, some of it from me (surrender meaning allowing the appearance of something that's present in your life and working on it from there, rather than resisting it, or to give up or give in). I'd like to clarify this a bit by adding that we tend to focus on what-is as it appears to us or as we interpret it, rather than on the energy underneath it (cause and effect). In other words, we'd assist ourselves in a better way by allowing the appearance to be what it is instead of resisting it (because it is there), and identifying the cause and effect factor, to see how we may do something different or differently, in order to create a desirable shift in us and in our experiences.
Because our ego-aspect prefers being comfortable and unruffled, we can get lost or mired by focusing on the appearance of what-is in our life, which puts us in the mindset of opposing thoughts, which means situations or matters don't change in the way or as quickly as we'd like. Then one day we feel more uncomfortable than ever before. We feel a sense of urgency about a needed change or adjustment in our lives; and we may even feel we're running out of time or have. The last thing we – that is, our ego-aspect - think we need to focus on is the energy underneath the what-is we're concerned with or panicking about.
The thing is that this kind of focus is your best option, maybe your only option, at least initially; and you will have to allow right timing, which you can support with trust in Source and by doing the inner work. That which bothers us is or can be a motivator to get us moving forward, but that is one choice presented to us. The other choice is to be miserable about what we want and don't have, as yet. Under anything and everything we ever want is, in reality, the feeling we expect the having of it to give or provide to us. Once we grasp this truth, we can access a whole new level of inspiration, motivation, and potential. When we identify the feeling we want to have, then choose to feel it no matter what's going on, this is the key that unlocks that particular door and many other doors for us.
Sometimes, though, our "buts" cause us to believe we're thinking or doing one thing when we're actually thinking or doing another. Here's an example of this. Let's take something many people say they want: Security. Let's try a quick thought experiment with this. Say to yourself, "I want (or need) security." How do you feel when you say this? Please take a moment to actually say and feel this statement so you really get this; perhaps close your eyes to do this, and stay with it for several seconds.
Did you keenly feel the absence of security, if you don't believe you have it or can? Did you perceive the silent "but": "I want/need security, but I don't have it/will likely never have it/work or struggle so hard, yet still can't seem to attain it"? Does security feel like an object positioned somewhere outside of you and far off in the distance?
Now follow the same closed-eyes instruction and say this to yourself, "I choose serenity." How did you feel when you said that? Did you feel serenity start to flow into you, or even outward from you as though it had been let loose from its container, when you said you chose it then paused a moment to be with your choice? There was likely no feeling of distance; and even if it felt outside of you, it likely felt closer than security did. You might have felt it flowing into you or even, perhaps, merging with your hidden or buried inner serenity.
The energy vibration of the word "security" vs. the vibration of the word "serenity" can be quite different at your inner level, despite your intention. The word "security" likely leads your energy to vibrate at the frequency of not having it or not having as much as your ego-aspect would need to feel secure (chasing security – enough to satisfy your ego-aspect, that is - is akin to chasing perfection rather than excellence).
The not-so-funny thing about these words being used "out there" is that you'd get a nod of approval or agreement from mainstream, if you say you want security, and probably more than a few raised eyebrows if you tell mainstream that you're into choosing serenity these days, despite what's going on, because you know that what's going on will eventually align with the vibration of serenity you maintain. Because that IS how this works, whether you choose to focus on security or serenity.
Choosing serenity puts you in a better "place": A better feeling, a better mindset, a better response mode. It opens you to possibilities and experiences that seem magical or miraculous. Focus on wanting to feel secure is an opposing thought to being it because it's about the "lack" of it, and this causes you to chase it (or feel stuck in place); whereas, choosing serenity means you open to and receive lovely "gifts" and surprises from the infinite resources of Source. Life feels easier when "amble and appreciate" is your chosen pace and mindset rather than "chase in haste." What words do you currently use that seem to support you but actually create opposing feelings and energy, and keep you stuck? Choosing serenity at all times can help you deal with the opposing motion of the "buts."
One way "buts" intrude on our serenity and experiences is that every story we tell ourselves, especially ones we repeat over and over, to ourselves or others, create actual neural pathways in our brains. These thoughts bio-chemically become our "paths of least resistance" in/on our brain, meaning they are either the first response when we are triggered or the foundation of our mindset. Happily, this can be adjusted by telling ourselves better stories with the same energy level and repetition we use to tell ourselves unhelpful ones. We all use the word "but" on occasion; it does have its purposes as a word. However, when it lingers in the mind or is uttered often, or even thought, as the start of a "reason" something will never happen or why we can't do something, we benefit by calling it out as a story. It is just that, one of many possible stories we can tell ourselves. "But," you ask, "what if my reason is factual?" Keep reading.
"Buts" ask us to revisit our intention and commitment. If we say we want something "but…," do we really want it, or want it enough? Why do we want it? Who do we want it for? If it's not for us, if it's not our sincere personal want, we'll feel stuck at some point, because we're thinking and feeling and attempting to plan in opposing directions. We can't walk forward and back at the same time. Our "buts" keep us out of alignment with Source and out of head-and-heart alignment. Recall my earlier mention of feeling urgency. Whether urgency is present or not, if you find, choose, and tell yourself a story that will align your head and heart, and you with Source, your experiences and results, and you, will be the better for it.
When a "but" shows up, you might say something like this: "Okay, maybe that's true; but what CAN I do that I WILL do to get a desirable result, one appropriate for me?" As the saying goes, if there's no wind – row. Also, when appropriate, a good replacement for "but" is "and": I appreciate what I have, and I appreciate the "even more" on its way to me now. This is far better than "I appreciate what I have, but I want/must have more." The wording may seem a small technicality, but so it may seem with "security" vs. "serenity"; yet, the difference becomes obvious in how your body-mind feels when you say each.
"Wanting" gets a bad rap a lot of the time. What helps is to identify the energy under your use of the word "want". Is it the energy of lack, like "security," or the energy like "serenity" – something you'd appreciate having even more of? Your wants, especially if unencumbered by frustration about not having whatever right this moment, can fuel your motivation. Wants can drive your focus, your intention, your commitment. Wants can provide the opportunity to align your energy with Source. Alignment provides what? Serenity. Enthusiasm. Excitement. Results! As Abraham-Hicks said, use your leverage of alignment.
So go ahead and kick some of those buts impacting you and your life. At least do what you can to dilute them. Use your but-light mindset to put you in alignment with Source and your good. It's a good practice, one you'll appreciate.
Practice makes progress.
Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She's author of "I Don't Want to be Your Guru" and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that's offered by Joyce and on her site at State of Appreciation.