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Sabotaging Your Own Success
By Nisandeh Neta
Surprisingly perhaps, there are just as many people with a fear of success, as there are those with the "standard" fear of failure. Are you one of them? Unsure? Here is a simple test to see if you may be suffering from fear of success.
How many of the following situations can you identify with?
- I read lots of self-help books but can't seem to improve my own life.
- I'm insecure about money or I'm making a lot less than I should be making.
- I'm in a job that doesn't allow me to express my real talents or true abilities.
- I expect myself to be perfect all the time.
- I try to be all things to all people.
- I find it incredibly easy to start projects and very hard to finish them.
- I feel guilty saying "no" to others.
- I usually feel like I'm not doing enough, even though I'm doing all I can.
- I have a very low opinion of myself, even though other people think I'm smart, funny, and capable.
- I usually settle for less, even though I know I deserve better.
If you can identify with 5 or more of these warning signs, you may suffer from fear of success.
Whatever is your reason to fear success, it is vital to identify the ways in which you sabotage your success. This way, you can avoid these traps and should you fall into them, you can at least find your way out as fast as possible. In this article we'll investigate five common scenarios whereby people sabotage their success.
Actually, your definition of success is not that important. All the things you could have been, all the things you could have had - all were missed... because of procrastination! You must get rid of this monster once and for all! Cut your long-term goals into smaller 'bit-sized' chunks and take at least one single step EVERY DAY towards realizing your success!
- Making the Process More Important than the End Result
So, you want a new car. How are you going to get it? Ah! You're planning to buy one. That's one way to get a car. Did you consider other ways? For example: rent a car, lease one, share one with your neighbor, win a car, ask for a car as a gift, get a job with a car, steal a car, marry someone with a car...
There are so many ways to get the end result. Always focus on the end result, while imagining it with all your senses, with as many details as possible, and add to your visualization your positive emotions of enthusiasm, joy, fun and excitement and let the process emerge by its own volition.
- Waiting for (More) Clarity
The truth is that there can always be more clarity to be gained. However, waiting too long for more clarity can easily become avoidance.
So many people spend months and even years asking themselves, "Should I marry him/her, should I not?" In the meanwhile, their loved one has long ago given up and gone off to Vegas, marrying someone else.
Next time you don't know what to do, toss a coin. Head - marriage. Tail - Hawaii on my own looking for another Prince(ss) Charming.
It came down 'Head'. If your response is a big smile, warm heart and overall feeling of relaxation, buy two tickets on the first plane to Vegas and get married. If your response is a slight panic attack, your palms are sweaty and you find yourself screaming hysterically at anyone that passes by - you're better off buying a single ticket to Honolulu and take some distance for a while.
The main quality of a perfectionist - he or she NEVER accomplishes anything. All they have at the end of the day is a perfect nothing. I have just three words of advice for the perfectionist - GET OVER IT! Nothing is ever perfect, nor will it ever be.
Another piece of advice - the completed mediocre result is infinitely more exciting than the uncompleted piece of perfection...
- Making Everything a Problem
"...But it costs so much money, and even if I had the money, where would I find the right person that can handle the job. As you know, this is a very complicated and delicate job, and even if I find the right person to do it, how can I trust him that he will be on time. Because I don't have all day, you know. There are so many things to do, and so many details to organize. And timing is really important, because soon it will be summer and then everyone is on vacation, and even those that are not on vacation, are not that effective in this weather. And even if I knew someone I could trust that would not be on vacation during the summer, I probably have to drive and get the materials myself, and the air- conditioner in the car is not working properly, which means that I have to get the car as soon as possible to the garage, and as I said, I don't have any free time, and even if I could ask you or one of the kids to take it to the garage, I'd still have to pay for it, and you know that we're so short in money right now. And although I didn't sleep for the last month, trying to figure out what to do about our financial situation, I don't feel any support from you, which is another issue we need to deal with, when we have some free time. And I think it is too important to try to solve it ourselves, and the only possibility I see is to seek professional counseling, which will cost money that we don't have and time that I can't afford, as I need all my energy and spare time to spend on this great idea, that I was talking about, and ..."
Got the point? Look at all your problems as facts, and ask yourself a simple, direct question in return.
Fact: I need this amount of money. Question: How do I get it? Solution: I borrow it, I work extra few hours, I find a partner...
Fact: I need a person that can handle the job. Question: What qualifications are required by the particular person? Question: How do I get a person with these qualifications? Answer: ...
Do this process and brainstorm with whomever is willing to help. Solutions will be there as fast as you can state the questions. No more problems, amigo...
Remember this: Success is infinitely more exciting, fun, and joyful than any failure. You can do it! So do it NOW! Enjoy your success...
Article by: Nisandeh Neta, trainer, success coach and healer. Start living each day at a higher level of success, passion and fulfillment. No Hocus Pocus! Just awareness and open mind.
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