Follow These 8 Strategies and Avoid
Self-Sabotaging Your Success
There will be many obstacles that you will be confronted with on your journey but for sure none of them will be as big as those that you will make for yourself.
Self-sabotage arises when your conscious mind is in conflict with your unconscious mind. In other words, when one part of you is actively seeking to eat healthy food while the other part of you loves to indulge in anything sweet and unhealthy. The latter, the unconscious part, that inner nagging voice is always trying to sabotage your good efforts.
Self-sabotage is when you do or tell yourself things that take you in the exact opposite direction of where you want to go, or be. For instance, if it is your desire to win a Fair Go casino bonus, but your behavior takes you down a different path and doesn’t align with this desire. Self-sabotaging behavior and thoughts will prevent you from getting to where you want to be.
It could be argued that this is a protective mechanism. It is your unconscious mind trying to prevent you from experiencing pain and fear. However, this self-sabotaging behavior and thinking is destroying the possibility of dreams being realized, of goals being reached. Ultimately, we know we missed the boat but are not quite sure how it happened. Below are 8 ways to help stop self-sabotaging your way to success.
1. Understanding what self-sabotage is
Many of us have behavior habits that are not positive to our wellbeing. Often, we are not aware of the fact that these habits of behavior are preventing us from achieving the success and happiness we so desire. When we do something that prevents us from realizing our goals and dreams, we are self-sabotaging.
We work towards reaching that goal but never quite get there. Could it be that our subconscious is somehow preventing us from reaching our destination? By telling us, ‘No, you can’t do it’. Self-sabotage in the guise of self-protection, self-defense.
Sometimes we may even miss these self-sabotaging behaviors or thoughts as they are often very subtle and are totally unaware of the damage that we are doing to ourselves.
We fail to recognize how being disorganized distracts us or how our double-guessing ourselves prevents us from sticking to a decision and creates paralysis. Our behavior creates bigger issues to deal with.
2. Identify those self-sabotaging habits
Being able to identify these self-sabotaging habits is really the first step necessary to overcoming them. Perhaps take a critical look at your behavior. Can you identify any habits, thought patterns or behaviors that might be stopping you from getting ahead?
Here are a few of the more common self-sabotaging culprits:
Procrastination, basically putting off important matters instead of dealing with them right away is definitely a way people self-sabotage. Leaving things until the very last minute, leaves little time to do a perfect job. Give yourself a deadline and always work towards your goal.
Negative thinking or that inner critical voice which is constantly reminding you of past mistakes or how you don’t deserve something. Start being your own best friend and be aware of these negative thoughts. Be kind and start changing that inner dialogue.
Perfectionism. Always waiting for the perfect time until you can take action. Always coming up with excuses as to why you can’t tackle something. You will never reach that perfect time and will continue to self-sabotage your success until you take that leap of faith and move forward.
3. Identify the root of the problem
We live in a very stressful world and we often find ways of coping with this stress in unhealthy ways. We don’t look after ourselves well, we don’t honor our commitments and often we take important relationships for granted. We very often respond to situations in a negative way, not realizing that our behavior is rooted in self-sabotage.
If you have feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth you may develop negative habits that are self-destructive. For instance, you may set high goals for yourself while at the same time feeling that you don’t deserve to achieve them. Self-sabotage being used as a way of being in charge of your failure. Try to identify the underlying reasons why you are self-sabotaging yourself and then you will be in a better position to change those habits and behaviors.
In order to really understand the reasons why you may be self-sabotaging, some serious self-reflection is needed. Becoming more self-aware of why you behave in the ways you do, will lead you to a better, and clearer understanding of who you are and what your needs and desires are.
Successful people learn from their successes and their failures. They will adjust their plans accordingly. Self-awareness gained through introspection will help to give you the insight needed to make the necessary changes to your behavior and habits which will enable you to succeed.
5. Tap in to those positive inner thoughts
Fear is usually the culprit that stops us in our tracks. We hear that inner negative dialogue, like “I can’t’ or I’m no good”, and we believe it. We start to question our ability to achieve our desires or our worthiness.
Indulging in negative patterns of thought is a habit. It is something that can be curbed. Each time a negative thought pops in to your mind, it needs to be replaced with a positive and upbeat thought. The moment you become more aware of how you are limiting yourself, you can start changing that behavior. It becomes a choice and you can begin to develop a more positive and encouraging inner voice which will be more helpful to you.
6. Changing behaviors
If you want to grow and stop self-sabotaging yourself you must tackle these negative behaviors. Every action we do is either moving us towards our goals or away from them. We are in charge of these behaviors.
Do your thoughts and behaviors match your goals and desires? Try to ascertain which thoughts and behaviors you can change in order to align them with your true goals.
Initially, it involves understanding the triggers that set off this negative behavior and then avoiding it. For instance, certain people or particular situations that you know cause you to react in a negative fashion. Find ways to avoid them while you learn new ways to negotiate them.
7. Take small but significant steps
It is important to identify the changes you want to make. However, you cannot change everything at once. You need to work on one thing in the beginning so that you don’t become totally overwhelmed and then give up. Start slowly, making small but significant alterations and gradually build up to where you see real changes in your life.
It could be your sabotaging behavior involves being disorganized or not following up on projects or missing targets. You could make one small but meaningful change which could alter that situation and put you on a more positive path.
For instance, if you are disorganized, it might be useful to start your day with tidying up your desk and making a list of things that need to be dealt with. If failing to reach deadlines or targets is an issue for you, you need to figure out a timeline that will work for you and allow you reach them. Reaching your goals will build self-confidence.
8. Make plans and set some goals
We often feel less confident and unsure of ourselves when we don’t know what to expect. It is difficult to propel yourself forward in unknown territory. The best way to resolve this is to make plans and set out some goals for the future.
It is good to have a plan and know where you are going and which is the way forward. It is possible, and perhaps useful to do this on a daily basis, thinking ahead of time how you intend to respond to particular circumstances, people or situations.
By working through the above, it is possible to make real changes in your life and get some control of your self-sabotaging behavior.