Self Acceptance - Freedom for Fearless Expression
By Enoch Tan
When a person acts with complete confidence, even for insane purposes, it fills a void in us. Charismatic individuals make their followers do insane things by the force of their personalities. It proves the point that the force of a person's will, of his self acceptance, can be so strong that he can change the view of the masses. He can convince people that what he is doing or saying is beautiful. People become fully accepting in his presence, falling prey to his complete self-acceptance! Later on, they might wonder how they could have fallen under that spell. Self acceptance is very attractive. The one who is most congruent will control the situation. If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything. Self acceptance gives you the freedom for fearless expression.
The expression of complete self acceptance is the inspiration that we all crave so much. When we see others expressing themselves with self acceptance, we feel a sense of acceptance towards what they are doing too. When we see it in others, we feel it in ourselves and for them and the universe. In that state, we feel acceptance for everything and that all is perfect. There is no rejection for those who have complete self acceptance and they can express themselves fearlessly. Self expression is total, immediate and without conception of time. You've got to have complete self expression in order to fully communicate what it is you want to communicate to another.
Most of us think that the right to create is for others, not for us. But inspired people show us by example what is possible for everyone. It's as though there is a cosmic bank somewhere in the universe where the great ones have their accounts. The currency is unlimited creativity and ideas. The rest of us are always trying to borrow from their accounts. Do not borrow from anyone else's account. We cannot recreate. We must create. Have the attitude that no one before has ever done what you are doing right now.
You have to have the arrogance to do what you want to do. Behind every action that you make and every word that you say is the belief that this is the truth. Do not believe in wrong actions. Believe that they are right ones because you are the one making them. Authenticity comes from the permission you give yourself to be a genius, to take something that is considered insignificant and proclaim, "This is beautiful." Power comes from being yourself. You can never get it by recreating. You have to create. For something to be real, it has to come from within you. Do not fear mistakes. There are none. Act as if you just didn't have a care in the world!
You experience an absence of effort in the absence of caring. In the absence of fear and expectation, things become quite simple. In the inner space there are no conditions, no requirements. You just Are. You are making conscious contact, forming an informational highway, with the higher, or inner self. This is the spiritual connection that many speak of as the primary force in their actions. This is what is known as letting go of the Ego. You must surrender the need to be good, otherwise you can't really let go! You remember experiences not by how well you acted, but by how much you let go. Those are usually the best experiences anyway. When you let go you feel free as a bird.
The right shot at the right moment does not come because you do not let go of yourself. Do not wait for fulfillment, but brace yourself for failure. The harder you try, the worse you do. When you take a chance, leave fear behind and go with the flow; you'll usually land on your feet. You can't plan your response or you'll lose the moment. It is an instantaneous thing that comes out of you. Without fear you are free to be real. Fear lurks in the mind. If you want to be free, master your mind. The reason why we procrastinate is not because of laziness, it is a sense of being overwhelmed. In fear we expect, with love we accept.
To love is to accept. Self acceptance is self love. You love yourself when you accept yourself. You can't accept if you judge. You have to accept without judging. When one is not expressing himself, he is not free. When one is not free, he cannot express himself. To express oneself honestly, not lying to oneself, and to express yourself honestly enough, is a very hard thing to do. You can't express yourself freely unless you accept yourself completely. Express whatever wants to come out. Accept it with love. Accept the good and the bad with equal love. Without needing to be good, you act from an effortless space. Self acceptance leads to Authentic expression.
Expectations create agitation in the mind. When there is acceptance, there is peace. Expectation exists when there is fear. The fear of not getting what we want. We think that if we have enough of what we want, we will be safe. But from the inner space, one realizes that everything one needs and desires already exists within. Creation comes from nothingness. Results create expectations and it's important to always return to a state of no expectation in order to create once again.
Jesus said, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all else will be added." He also said, "The Kingdom of God is within." Our true fulfillment is to be found in the Kingdom, and that Kingdom is within ourselves. The Inner Space is the place where joy, pleasure and fulfillment - worldly and otherwise - are available in unlimited supply. Acceptance of these gifts allows the flow to increase. Performances given from this state are said to be greatly inspired, leaving their audiences profoundly moved.
The secret is to be completely at ease with yourself. How others feel when they are with you is influenced by how you feel when you are with them. Be comfortable with yourself in order for others to be comfortable with you. You have to be at ease with yourself in order to be at ease with anything. There are people who are considered to have a sense of presence because they move with complete self acceptance.
You should not seek external things in order to obtain an inner state but you should seek the inner state in order to manifest external things. A true master is not just a master of technique or language, but of himself. He can sit serenely in the center of that space while performing his actions to perfection. This is a state of selflessness and absolute concentration. One may perform all actions in the state of ground level zero. Do not be attached to the future with anticipation and worry, or to the past with longing and regret. But remain in the present. Move towards your desires while being perfectly centered. Acceptance leads to unfoldment of Spirit within you.
We give up our power by allowing stresses to get out of control, and by habitually saying no to people and circumstances. We can always regain our power simply by remembering to breathe fully and freely, by letting go of tensions in our bodies, and by opening to and accepting all that life offers. Identify a current problem or difficulty in your life that is causing some degree of emotional distress, from a minor annoyance to a raging upset. State it in a few concise words such as "I did not get what I wanted," "I failed," or "I hurt someone that I love." Say to yourself, "Even though (the problem), I fully and completely accept myself."
Don't think of future endeavors as a test of your past achievements, or it will invalidate you in your own mind. Instead, think of it as the beginning of coming to terms with what's been holding you back, and taking powerful, positive steps to correct that and move forward. Be brave, be patient, and most of all, be loving to yourself throughout.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."—Carl Jung