Fear Not, Be Free
By Lujan Matus
Excerpt from the book, 'The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception - The Living Tapestry of Lujan Matus' - ISBN 1412049849
I had gone to bed relaxed, not knowing that on this night I would be pulled into the Dream Maker's realm. I was awoken by a howling wind that penetrated and passed through my neck. As I became more aware of the texture of this auditory phenomenon I realized it was Jaguar's roar, awakening me into that mysterious realm where my benefactor and his companions were conspiring to change the fundamental fabric of my cognitive system. I was suddenly standing in the room where the four men had appeared previously and from the darkness leapt Jaguar. She flew through the air and pinned me by the chest and as we hurtled backwards, scenes and memories of past events streamed by sequentially. While plummeting towards the floor I realized that the imagery was somehow erupting from behind Jaguar's paw, and when we landed she intently locked my eyes with her gaze. There was a determination in this animal, the same determination you would see in a wild cat just before it snapped the neck of it's prey; but her purpose was not to kill me. She was taking me into past events through her fierceness. I heard from behind her a voice, calling: "Jaguar."
Looking past her I saw an enormous man approaching. His head was clean-shaven and when he reached forward I saw that his forearms were like tree-trunks. He clasped my hand and pulled me effortlessly to a standing position.
"Jaguar may seem to be having fun at your expense, but what she has pushed onto you is more than pertinent. The scenes that you were witnessing as you flew backwards in time are imprinted anchors that we must review, so that we can free you from the insidious loop of repetition that is supplied by these sites. Come with me and we shall sit by the void and discuss these issues of pertinence."
Walking by my side he did not seem as tall as I'd thought, but the energy that emanated from his being was massive...
He introduced himself, "My name is Barak. I have no fear. My body is powerful and full of courage. Focus on my inner strength and I will guide you through the void so that you can understand how to access this power within your own being."
I focused on his chest and saw that he bore a large black tattoo of a jaguar's paw on his left pectoral muscle. He acknowledged my observation with a nod and continued.
"You have been marked as I have been marked. You have sustained your strength and clarity while Jaguar pressed upon your chest. The tattoo that you gaze at is a representation of Jaguar's power. I bear that mark out of respect for her. Jaguar's fierceness is direct and unrelenting and her lesson is that if you face the world with anything less than purpose, you will be engulfed by that which surrounds you."
I looked into Barak's eyes and the void began to appear in front of me. I knew I was being split. "Listen as I speak to you," he said to me. "It has been said that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. If fear is our nemesis and that fear is an installation, then the question is: how can we mute fear's existence through understanding? Fear is an installed socially stabilized site of preoccupation. The key to resolving fear is to understand the installation and how the installation comes into existence in the first place. If our society were structured in fairness, the trained repetitive roles of inner and outer dominance would not exist. It is through domination that the first window of opportunity is given for a controlling force to install an overview of fear, which suffocates the recipient and opens up avenues of possibilities for controlling factors to be set in place. Through practice, this leads to the development of a hidden network of activity that corrals circumstances and neutralizes the possibility of growth and awareness.
"If you have fear you must be aware of three things... You are born alone, you live isolated, and you die alone. The second and third concepts, if focused on, are relevant for those who have fear in their life. When a child is born it is born without fear but when that very same child travels toward the inevitable conclusion of life, ninety-nine percent of the time there is fear of death. So why do we fear our death at the end when in the beginning there was no possibility of fear? A child is just there... The reason why there is fear is because one has not lived their full potential and within that realization feelings of remorse for not being the way one should have been bring a sense of loss. This sense of loss reforms and recreates itself into rigid arrogance that is sustained through justifications so one never has to face what one should have faced.
"When such an individual is ultimately confronted with the end of their life they do not have the calculative resource to let go of who they are so that they can become something more than what they were. Such people imprint their children with the same mechanisms of denial, to ensure through this replication that they do not have to face that which they have not done. This imprinting is energetic rape and those offspring, within their dysfunctional viewpoint, will perpetuate what they have learnt and further evolve the intellectual conceptualizations that will enable them to entrap their environment within denial. This is the shadow's mind that haunts the very fabric of humanity. The primary reason why humanity guards and protects these sites is that when they are revisited, they cause enormous amounts of regret, and if that regret is a state of realization, then we would have to admit that we have invested in the wrong elements, and for some this is more than devastating. For those in this position the idea of death is as frightening as the catharsis they avoid.
"We are the Architects of our own construct. The trick is to look back on that instead of looking forward and damaging everything in our path. It is best to stop and consider our options intelligently instead of blindly moving forward with the destructive imprint that does not allow the Architect full expression. These things will be explained to you in greater depth when we stalk that element which stalks us. Your task will be to awaken in those you educate the understanding that what they speak and what they do comes from somewhere other than themselves, because it is foreign to that emptiness we should possess as human beings.
"We are born alone and we should not fear to be alone as we live. There is a centralized focal point within all of us. It is invisible to our eye and impossible to touch. We cannot smell, taste nor hear this focal point but we can feel and adjust our perceptions appropriately to outline our inner integrity, through not compromising this inner feeling. That focal point is our inner child. I say to you, Lujan, stand within this premise that I am to give you.
"Give of yourself, except for that which weakens you. Accept what is given, but not that which compromises.
"If this premise is adhered to then the inner child will be free to outline its perimeter of integrity and through this one simple technique the deliberation of one's true self will be arrived at. Upon this arrival one will be confronted with installations of fear that will preoccupy and attempt to inhibit growth: a cloak of sorts. At this crucial junction the cloak installed that inhibits renewal will reveal it's mind and say, 'How will my world be if I do not act in a way which is familiar? Will I lose what is dear to me?' Or will the seer within, which is that state of renewal, say, 'Will I gain power in my life?' What must be remembered is that if an element of your life cannot survive under the premise just outlined then it was not meant to be there, for in truth it is not what leaves that makes us fear. It is what is activated within ourselves that we truly fear. The idea of loss that we have given to ourselves repetitively makes us cling to what is not right for us. What we have in all circumstances of fear is a self-perpetuating momentum, which can be transferred from an external force, and can be reinforced through internally repeating and fortifying our weaknesses. In both cases the recipient and the perpetrator lose power. We all know within ourselves how far to go, how much to give and how much to take before this part of us is damaged. If we see ourselves as an accumulation of momentive force and progressively activate the architectural element of observation, and learn to listen to the cues given, our feelings will give us arrival at a place of power. As this power accumulates it will become communal and in its sense of community will neutralize isolation.
"We must imagine that something has been pushed upon us and the absorption of what's been pushed upon us is an agreement even though we don t agree. The fear inside your body tells you it's not right, but one thing fear has, as an advantage is that it closes positive possibilities out of the range of perception. If someone in the position of fear were to touch upon something that would give them a new sense of possibility, you can be sure that the element controlling them will make them confirm to themselves that this possibility is not a viable option. This occurs in society through repetitive loops that reinforce the non-viability of positive change. These loops reinforce within individuals the idea of how weak and powerless they are, and these loops are imprints: inwardly stationed sites.
"Essentially each one of us builds a construct through repetitious acts so that we may confirm to ourselves that the construct itself is intact. This would refer basically to a form of self-reflection that is outside of ones real self, because in essence our inner silence is never really touched or damaged by the construct, the organization. It seems that the construct is so alive, and silence is so non-invasive that its appearance is hard to hook onto, so we simply go to what is familiar and by doing that we forget who we essentially are and instead reinforce the only thing that can be possibly known at that point, which is our trained, repetitive response to circumstances. The reason that we can build such complexity is because of our inner silence, but the complexity itself has stolen us from silence. If we could go back into our introspective self we would certainly re-evaluate what we are doing.
"For fear to exist the cognitive system that surrounds that feeling has to be sustained. We must reform our cognition and give different views to the construct so that we may move away from negative self-perpetuation and reformulate the original construct into a baseless configuration that holds more possibilities, which will be a state of dimensional lateralism. Our imprints are the basis, the territories and boundaries that we are protecting, which by virtue of being protected need to be extensively examined. We can all see that we are defending something but what we need to see is that we can live without these imprints that bring separation and fear. We must learn to dissolve those reference points, those imprints, so that humanity can be brought into a state of resolve, and this resolve comes about from completion. I will now travel with you into a vision that will be composed of past enactments upon you. Break now your fixation from the void."
I suddenly had the feeling of being released. I looked up to my left to observe Barak's face. To my surprise his eyes were bright blue and piercing. He commanded me to focus on his left pupil. Gazing into the darkness that was behind his eye, I saw Jaguar leaping at me from the depths. Her roar was deafening and I was transported by that sound back to a time in my childhood. Jaguar stood by my side as I viewed a man beating a child. As I watched and the scene became more distinct I realized it was my father. His big hand had the child held by the left arm and in his right hand he was holding a large white sand shoe. I was more than shocked to see this past event reoccurring so vividly in front of me. Standing there watching, I was struck by the fact that this large man kept continually hitting the child and not stopping. What impacted me the most was the sound of the child's distress, and this distress related to the feeling in my own chest. He wanted the beating to stop but it just kept going and going. Jaguar began to growl and hiss. I then heard Barak's voice in the distance.
"Put your hand through the scene and stop the man," he said.
I immediately thrust my hand forward into what seemed to be a type of pressure and as I put my hand through that seal, it popped. I placed my hand on my father's shoulder and said: "Stop."
With this gesture the occupants of that vision turned into shadows and became stationary. I walked around the two people that I had been viewing and realized that which was my memory had disappeared, in terms of the intensity of feeling that had first impacted me upon encountering the original scene. Jaguar roared again at that point and we appeared back in the Dream Maker's realm. In front of me was the void. Barak spoke suddenly...
"What you have viewed was a memory from your past. This memory is a portion of your base plate imprint, and as you witnessed that memory, you must have realized the energy that it would take to sustain such a vibrant imprint within you. This living scene that you have remembered is a past event that you have attached too much importance to, not intellectually mind you. It is on an emotional level where you have placed so much emphasis. What you have recalled was obviously a time capsule of reviewal and within this time capsule existed the feeling of fear, and desperation at losing so much control. This imprint, this time capsule that is sustained deep within your being, has resonance. For this resonance to lose its power over you, you must detach emotion from the memory itself. Even though the memory is full of distress and fear, the predominant element that has evolved from that resonance is the need not to be controlled and be made to do what you don't want to do by people in positions of authority. Under certain circumstances this is not a bad thing, but if the original emotion attached to your need not to be controlled is not subdued, you will fight when you shouldn t and be consumed by fear when you should fight."
Barak then instructed me once more to look into his left eye and in doing so I was transported back to that memory. The boy and the man were still stationary shadows and Barak was standing by my side.
"Push your hand through and perforate the scene once more," he said, "and as you push forward, visualize what you would do under these circumstances with your own child."
When my hand touched the shadowed figure that was my father, the mood of the scene changed from violence to tranquility and I heard the little boy explaining what had happened.
"I was with a friend of mine on the outskirts of town," he began. "We went to the middle of a property and there was a house that had been deserted. When we looked inside and saw no furniture, I thought it was going to be condemned and pulled down so I said to my friendm, "Let's break all the windows," because I'd thought to myself that all these windows will be broken anyway when it is bulldozed down.
My father reached across and touched my hand, obviously very annoyed.
"How can you make such an immature assumption?" he asked with a serious expression. "The neighbors saw you breaking the windows and knew who you were, and knew that you were my son. They consequently rang the owners, who had the damage assessed and now I have a bill and I will have to work hard and earn nothing until this is paid off."
"I am sorry, I didn't realize," the young boy answered sincerely. "I hadn't thought deeply enough about what I was doing. Can I come to work with you on the weekends to help rectify my mistake?"
"Yes," said my father. "Even though I am very annoyed with what you have done, I love you. Please learn to think before you act."
Upon this conclusion I was pulled back from the scene and once again appeared in front of the void with Barak, who began to explain what had taken place.
"Now that you have stalked your past within parallel perception, it is up to you which memory you take to bolster yourself as a man. If you take the first you will be full of resentment and anger and always be fearful of authoritarians. If you take the third circumstance as your preferred memory then you will be understanding and compassionate to those around you who are controlling and authoritarian. You will know that they carry a wound and that it is this self imposed wound that makes them bleed. Take this understanding back with you to the second scene, the visualization of shadows, and I will show you what you must do to release yourself completely."
When he said this Jaguar leapt toward me with such ferocity that we were propelled back into that memory that was composed of shadows. Barak was standing to my right and he commanded me once again.
"Break the seal in front of you," he said.
I perforated that seal with my right hand and Barak instructed me to blow air into that vision. I blew, and as my hand touched the shadow's shoulder it dissolved and turned into dust, and was blown away till there was nothing left at all. While we stood in that emptiness Barak spoke once more...
"You now have three choices," he said with finality. "The first choice is to perpetuate your behavior through unconsciously living an emotional proposition that will never find conclusion, because in that first circumstance you were never given understanding as a basis to build your power upon. The third circumstance, which you have visually inserted into the scene after it was turned to shadows, yielded the correct response and course of action that should have been taken. This has been noted by your awareness while within this lateral scene. The second response yields understanding from the first and the third circumstance. When you blow away that which has been you are left with an empty perspective. This empty perspective can draw from either circumstance, positive or negative, and this choice is the only one that will yield true wisdom. Even though the shadows have been blown from the memory the emptiness that exists within that void will take the appropriate mask from the rejected scenes and throw it magically onto your oncoming circumstances, to reveal to you the truth of who approaches.
"Our emptiness is aware of that interconnective fabric that links us through time and space, which seems to be invisible but is tangible, and this fabric is intention. Is this intention truly ours? Have we manufactured this intent that invades every corner of reality and holds us fixed, or is it something else? Take with you only what is necessary, and what is necessary in this reality is what appears after you have blown away what was contained within that scene: nothing. By virtue of this emptiness, inverted continuity will replace that which you used to know."
I understood then how to proceed with all of my memories that had heavily imprinted me. I had to review them, turn them into shadows and blow them from myself so that I may be free from that which holds awareness stationary within superfluous past events. Barak placed his left hand reassuringly on my right shoulder and we reappeared in that room which possessed the void.
"Recovering the items of ones past is in essence all that we can do, and what we do with that recovery will define us as human beings. Be strong and resolve to face this insoluble part of yourself, which is there for a reason."
The dream scene ended as abruptly as it had begun. I woke within my bed and within my chest was left a profound knowing of how to dislodge those heavy imprints that had been implanted within the past.
Give of yourself, except for that which weakens you.
Accept what is given, but not that which compromises.