Trans4mind Home Page
Trans4mind Companies

TRANS4MIND TRAINING FOR COMPANIES

Uniquely based on empowering personal development, supported by personal trainers, Trans4mind Training's online interactive video workshops meet the need to find new and innovative ways to prosper in a fast-changing business world. YOU can bring this life-changing training to the workplace - and be well paid. No previous experience necessary!

Learn more & get started...

Gateway Five: Coming Home or Going Away, Finding Tribes in Which to Belong

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

As women we find ourselves automatically belonging to certain groups. There's the family we're born into, the family we may have created through marriage, and all sorts of other groups going on in our lives: PTA groups, office colleagues and church affiliations, etc.

Many women don't realize how critical it is to belong to groups. Depression feeds very quickly off of isolation. By nature most women not only share commonly in our care taking and in our concerns about others, but we enjoy and thrive when we're a part of the right groups. We want to be connected. We don't want to be isolated.

Choosing the right groups, the right tribes to belong to, is part of the dilemma and the wonderment of going through adult life. While our children don't always have much freedom in choosing what groups they belong to, sometimes they can be so greatly against an activity that we finally let them quit. We may let them leave the Girl Scouts or little league, or perhaps stop taking piano lessons, thus letting them make their own determinations.

But we, as adult women, can on the whole always have the privilege and luxury of picking our groups. It may well be time, as your children get older, to say "goodbye" forever to the PTA. It may be time to find a religious affiliation that is or is not connected to your heritage or what you were initially exposed to.

It may be time to find groups to belong to through technologies that didn't exist ten years ago. I have clients and friends who have found meaningful interest groups through the web. For example, a woman client now belongs to a quilting group that is worldwide. The result is that she not only has gained chat mates, but she has also been able to visit her new friends around the world and been able to act as hostess to many of these friends. As they say, "Who coulda thunk it?"

This is an extraordinary gateway, so take some time getting to know yourself, as you are now, and see the many ways how this can lead you to where you want to connect.

Case Vignette
Selma was brought down emotionally by a developmentally disabled young child and by her sound but somewhat difficult marriage which included difficult in-laws. She was feeling a bit discouraged and at times even clearly blue. Nothing in her current environment was really picking her up.

Unexpectedly, a girlfriend from her high school days got in touch with her and invited her to join a small group of friends who were going off on a four day woman's-only weekend in New England. When Selma initially approached her husband, he was negative, reminding her of all her household and child responsibilities.

This was exactly what she did not need to hear at the moment. She desperately needed some way to refresh herself in mind, body and spirit. She dug in her heels, made plans to have her child's care covered, and went off with the four women.

Joining this temporary group was extremely beneficial for her. She ended up laughing her way through New England, feeling a sense of connection to people who understood her background and the dreams and hopes she d had as a teenager. They all shared their own marital dilemmas and were sympathetic to hers. There was even one woman in a somewhat similar situation, with an adolescent who was driving her crazy.

The time flew by, and she returned home feeling uplifted with laughter still tingling in her belly, good food and good times, even physically refreshed from a massage she d had at the spa. She was certainly good to go for the continued saga of her life. What a wonderful, temporary tribe she d been part of, and what memories she d have of their gathering for months to come!

A Positive Activity for You
Try making a list of all the groups you currently belong to. Now divide the list into columns, one column for groups you are happy to be affiliated with, a column for the groups you wish you weren't affiliated with, and a third column for groups that you feel neutral about.

Over the next month or so, take time to brainstorm with yourself in terms of two avenues of adventuring. One is how you might bring more pleasure and happiness into your life by expanding your connection to one of the groups in the first column. At the same time, start to brainstorm a new group, or to look for a replacement for one of the groups in your second column.

For example if you've really had it with a particular women's group you're connected to, perhaps you want to replace that group with something entirely different. It could be a course at the local community college, tennis lessons that you let go for twenty years, a book club or a connection with an old friend. I hope you enjoy this dual process of making your experience even richer with the groups you want to stay connected with, and cleaning house with at least one group that you're ready to get rid of.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of Enchanted Woman products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at Enchanted Self.com.
More Spiritual Development articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
HOW TO USE THE RESOURCES 
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
SEE THE SITE MAP 
Describes all the contents of Trans4mind.com.
WORDS OF WISDOM 
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
INSIDE-OUT BLOG 
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
TRANS4MIND PODCASTS 
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION 
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
THE POSITIVE APPROACH 
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
THE AFTERLIFE 
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
ONLINE BOOKS 
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
EBOOK DOWNLOADS 
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT VIDEOS 
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
AND LOTS MORE 
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster