We all have (or have had) things from our past that haunt us. No matter what we do they seem to be there with us especially when we aren't being distracted by other people and events. Sometimes we deliberately keep ourselves busy to avoid thinking about our "ghosts" and "skeletons in the closet." But that is not the solution; it is just postponing the time when you are forced to deal with it.
Why do we continue to focus on things from the past? The answer is because we haven't learnt the lessons that we were supposed to learn. All the drama in our lives occurs for one reason only - spiritual growth. There is always something to learn from each and every experience in our lives. When we fail to learn the lesson we end up stuck in the same little loop, experiencing the same problems or making the same wrong choices over and over. But the loop gets faster and more chaotic as it repeats itself.
Creating diversions for ourselves will not accomplish anything except to delay the inevitable. And if you get to the end of this lifetime without learning what you came here to learn, then you will keep reincarnating and having the same problems all over again. Even if you don't reach complete enlightenment in this lifetime, every lesson learnt is one less thing to learn the next time around.
How do we avoid being stuck in a loop which is detrimental to our wellbeing, our health and possibly even our sanity? We have to learn the lesson. Once we realise what the lesson is and accept it, that's all we have to do. There is no big complicated procedure. Once we recognize it, it will fade away of its own accord.
Why suffer years and years of misery, grief and self admonishment! Do you like feeling sorry for yourself? I did a long time ago and I can tell you it doesn't accomplish a thing. You probably think you want others to feel sorry for you but believe me, they won't. They may feel pity for you but that is not the same thing at all. And some people might avoid you entirely because they don't want to be weighed down with your problems! You may believe you have control over your self inflicted misery but one day it might take control of you. Dealing with the source of your misery will not make your misery worse; it will cure it! But most people fail to realize that.
When we are spiritually awake, it becomes increasingly easier to see the lessons. Which is just as well because once we are serious about our spiritual life the lessons come more often. But they are minor challenges because we can recognise them easily and deal with them quickly. And each new lesson learnt brings us closer to enlightenment.
The past is the past! It can't be changed; it can't be undone! Don't stay stuck there! Get over it and move on!
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life!"
This is a favourite quote of mine. Make this your motto and let the past stay where it belongs and begin your new life starting from today.