The first trick in defining who you are is becoming aware of your emotional responses. It's your emotions that cause you to react the way you do, so it's important to determine what your emotional triggers are. Most of these stem from programmed responses due to unresolved past issues. When we are unable to release past hurts, angers and resentments, we carry them with us. When a similar situation occurs in the future, we will automatically pull that file and react in a way that is self-protecting... By becoming aware of these emotional reactions, we take a step closer to defining who we are and why we act the way we do.
In addition to remaining aware of what you're projecting onto others, you need to be aware of what you're allowing others to project onto you. Do you absorb everything that comes your way, even if it doesn't belong to you? If so, be careful not to let the emotional responses of others dictate your own reactions. It's easy to become wrapped up in someone else's drama, so start noticing if your emotions are coming from something inside you or if they're a projection of someone else. You have to release the energy that becomes stored within you. How you do that is up to you, just make sure you aren't trying to define someone else's reality before you have a chance to define your own.
Choose your battles wisely. Use any unresolved hurt, anger or resentment issues to help you come to terms with what's really going on. It may seem to revolve around another individual, but they are simply the opportunity for you to learn. It all comes down to you...you are the only one responsible for who you are and what you become. It doesn't matter if the other individual agrees. Everyone is on their own path. Allow them their lessons, in their own time. When you bring your focus on your own issues, you're helping yourself and when you help and heal yourself, you become better equipped to help others.
Society is taking a zero tolerance stance. What no longer works is being tossed aside or at least fought with a fevered vengence. Be a part of the solution and use this zero tolerance energy wisely. How are the changes helping you and society as a whole? What are you willing to stand for? Don't be afraid to let your voice be heard, just be aware that you eventually become what you speak, so make decisions that are in the best interest of all involved. Selfish motives no longer work and will be uncovered quickly.
Keep in mind there are times when it's alright to remain quietly aware. When a solution comes, you will know what role you're intended to play. Sometimes, the answer is in the silence. We just don't quiet our minds long enough to hear it.
Another way to define who you are is by the examples you set. Younger generations go through a difficult time when they are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life. They may think they have all the answers, but they don't. Experience will be their teacher and part of those experiences stem from the examples that are set by others, because examples are programmed and followed and become a way of life. Some will argue the "Indigo Children" issue here and I'm not disputing their existence, but not every child being born in today's society is of the Indigo energy. The one's that are will make themselves known early on by their actions. They will be the ones setting the examples and if we're wise, we'll be listening. These are children mature beyond their age, with a wisdom of life that other children will not seem to have. They are an exception to the rule.
Regardless of whether a child is of the Indigo energy or not, positive examples need to be set. If past examples are no longer working, changes need to be made, but always remain aware of what message you're projecting. Future generations depend on it.
Defining who you are is your responsibility and it extends to those around you, so take that responsibility seriously. It's also important you harm no one in the process. If you're spending time working on yourself and your own issues, you'll have less time to judge another. Define who you are first and then bring that example forward, enriching the lives of those around you.