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~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

God is Good... Good is God...

By Tom Cahil

It appears that humans have natural "learning development stages" (LDS's). I know that several people have documented the normal stages that all beings deal with from birth to death. However, I have observed undocumented stages that are available when passion pushes energy in a constant specific direction. These stages include advanced cognitive, soma, coordination, spatial, and aesthesia skills.

Entering a new LDS is like a child learning to walk. Joy, freedom, power, and passion, but plan to fall down often. Falling down is part of how we learned to walk. Usually upon mastering a specific LDS we are confident and joyous. Upon entering a new LDS we are at the mercy of the unknown. The unknown is mysterious, exciting, fascinating, amazing and consuming. I believe that there are common LDS's that most beings experience, such as: midlife crisis in the mid 40's. Seems to be a breakdown in the early to mid 30's, where values, desires, ethics and morals are reexamined after the structural collapse of the previous consciousness. Then there are the LDS's that require passion to push energy in a constant specific direction, such as my music. This is an example from my own experience...

I had a wonderful miracle happen to me this week.

Well, I have been playing guitar most of my spare time and it is coming along wonderfully. On Easter everything started sounding differently to me. Every note had an intense feeling associated with it and it was unique only to that note. This allowed me to really tap into the emotional side of music like you won't believe. All of a sudden, I could play all of my songs beautifully without thinking one thought. My body was doing this without consciousness controlling it. This alone was a miracle, but I knew that it was only the beginning. After that my right hand could pick anything needed at anytime, never looking at it or consciously controlling it. This really helped and I started working on my left-hand chords/melody. My goal was to get my left hand to play anything, anywhere without looking at it. This has been working really well. About a week ago, I came up with a whole bunch of new training methods and exercises that sound really silly, but train the mind to hear sound. Then, Wednesday night I worked real hard for a few hours of playing and never looking at my left hand. This was a good exercise but extremely difficult, intense, and a little frustrating. Well, Thursday after work, I started playing the guitar and it was magic. I looked at my hand and thought, "well this is the best that I have ever played that chord before". Then it started to really play. My hands can play anything and everything, perfectly, wonderfully and passionately without thinking about it. This takes very little effort because my body is so relaxed and knows what to do. I recorded for a couple hours and I cannot believe what I had. Well, more guitar playing for me tonight.

I forgot to tell you this part and it is really cool. I can be playing a super fast song and when I look at my hand it is going in slow motion. I see it in a different dimension that is real slow and easy, but when I listen to the recording, it is lightning fast. This is another wonderful miracle of life. And when I hear another fast song on a CD I see it in my head being played in that dimension that is real slow and easy.

One more thing, I had injured one finger about 3 months ago. The left-hand index finger was bent backwards almost 90 degrees at the top joint. This broke the tendon on the top of the finger, which left the finger bent forward 45 degrees and I could not straighten it up. I went to the best hand clinic in Indiana and was fitted with a splint that had to be used full time for 10 weeks. After the removal of the splint the finger was very sore, swollen and still bent forward about 15 degrees. Well I just started using it like that and assumed that it would never heal any more. Well to my surprise my finger completely healed over night at the same time I acquired the new musical talents.

The last week I had felt closer to oneness than ever before. The body was starting to do daily things on it's own such as shaving, brushing teeth or combing hair without any conscious thought involved. My left hand also starting sharing by doing the things the right hand normally would do. The left hand could even write everything, but it's backwards, like a mirror image. I had accepted psychologically that life was in the present and not the future or past. All desire for change in the present vanished. All wants of a different present dissolved. The most peculiar incident happened after I had recorded for a couple of hours Thursday evening. I was soaking wet with sweat, which is not that unusual after a hard workout on the guitar. When I looked at the mirror I noticed that I had only sweated on the left side of my body. My total left side of the shirt was soaked both front and back, while the right side was perfectly dry in both front and back. I know that the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body and is responsible for processing intuition and emotions.

My awareness has remained enhanced although adapting it to other aspects of my life can sometimes create instability. For example: I create software applications as a career and the detail level of knowledge required is huge and constantly changing. Entering a new LDS affects all areas of my life including my career. Everything is new and unknown and must be examined with a consciousness free from past conditioning. This can wreck havoc on schedules, budgets and guidelines. Such is the nature of creation, birth, death... creation, birth, death...

The Right Words

By Tom Cahill, 12/24/98

The right words are more valuable to me, than all the gold in the world.
Words are symbols, and can never be the real.
But, words are the beginning of relationship, communication, and communion.

I can show you the door, but I cannot walk through it with you.
When you go through it, you will see me there.
And, you will know that, "I have always been there."

TRUTH is ever changing and never changing.
It cannot be put on paper with words.
It is the absence of all that is false.
When you see all that is false, only the TRUTH remains.

FREEDOM is the absence of fear.

QUIETNESS is the absence of confusion.

HUMILITY is the absence of pride and selfishness.

ATTENTION is the very essence of all energy.

TRUTH is always new, dying and born new, every moment.

LIFE is a movement in relationship.
Constantly, moving and changing.

"YOU are the WORLD!"

Tom Cahill is a professional guitarist.

New Age

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