Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Development of the "I"

By Deepak Lodhia

Last week I noticed my brother trying to teach my three year old niece to say "I" - "I would like an apple..., I would like some grapes..." But she insisted that it should be said, "Vaishali wants an apple, Vaishali wants some grapes...!" Have you ever tried arguing with a three year old? And what is more, she was right. Because right now at the age of three, she has not started to create her identity.

When you are born, you are whole, complete and perfect. Then what happens? The illusions of life begin to shroud your vision of reality as you begin to create your own map of the world. In fact, the creation of the identity occurs because of the basic principle that we are "meaning making machines." Something happens in our life and we pass the information about the situation through the filters of deletion, distortion and generalization before the information is then represented to our conscious and unconscious mind. So we have added a meaning or further interpretation to what happened, without asking if this is a true representation of the situation.

  • Between the Ages of 1 to 5
    A situation occurs such that you think something is wrong. The meaning that you add to it is ,"I failed to be...." , so you decide to be "X". This is the first layer of your identity.

  • Between the Ages of 5 to 15
    A situation occurs such that you think that you don't belong to a particular group. The meaning that you add is, "I am different and I am not meant to be here", and so you decide to be "Y", such that you can "fit in"! This is the second layer of your identity.

  • Beyond the Ages of 15
    A situation occurs such that you think you are on your own. The meaning that you add to it is, "I am alone", and so you decide to be "Z", such that you can say you are unique and separate from everyone. This is the third layer of your identity. So in basic maths form, your identity I= X+Y+Z.

Actually you discover that it's all a great big lie you have been telling yourself. When you walk the path of awareness and spirituality you will come to the point of asking the question "WHO AM I?" because consciously, deep down in your unconscious, and in your higher self, you know that the above formula is not true.

Nothing is wrong, everything is perfect and is the way it is. It was just the meaning YOU attached to it. You do fit in and you are meant to be here, because here you are. You are not alone, in fact you are connected to the infinite energy which is everywhere and everywhen. This energy is conscious and blissful, and this energy is who you are. So you are connected to everyone and everything.

The truth is You are still whole and complete and as beautiful as the day you were born, and you are at choice. The choice is you can be whoever you chose to be in each moment. All you have to do is be honest about the "I" and give it up.

What would life be like if you were to redefine your own foundation? Because when you made those decisions you did not have enough life experiences to make the choices that would serve you in the future. You make decisions that will serve you in that instant because you did not know any better and some of those decisions may be holding you back from you experiencing your true nature.

You are the director, creator, editor and actor of your own reality. You are at choice in every moment. SO who do you want to be?

One question I am asked is that with this knowledge, could this whole process be avoided? The answer is no, because of the very way we are designed as meaning making machines, which is perfect, just like you. That just leaves me to conclude that there is so much we can learn from the honesty of a child. Namaste.

Deepak Lodhia is Director of Coaching at Prime Source Training, UK. He qualified as a coach with the European Coaching Foundation. His numerous skills and qualifications include NLP, EFT and the Sedona Method and allow him to deliver results quickly and effectively. Contact him by email.


Out of the box
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd