How to Embrace Failure and
Reduce the Stress It Can Cause
If you talk to professional sports players, they will tell you that they remember all (or most) of their missed opportunities. That goal they did not score that could have provided them that championship, that accident they had near the finish line… But they will also tell you that they managed the anxiety it caused, and it made them win the next time.
How Failure can Cause Stress and How to overpower it
Not only can failure cause stress but fear of failure can do even more damage in terms of anxiety. When you enter into a situation where you have to perform, whether in sports, business, or any other activity, the fear of failing can literally freeze you and keep you from getting to your goal. If it does so, that is because you are tetanized by your anxiety. You need to learn ways to control it, so that you can do better the next time you’ll be put on the spot again.
One way to do so is by learning breathing exercises for stress on this site https://www.intermittent-breathing.com/. You may not notice it, but the real problem starts when your breathing changes. It then affects your heart rate, which creates other symptoms inside your body. That unbalances you and makes you lose control of the situation. By learning how to breathe right, you will solve the first problem of the equation and you’ll be able to put yourself to work and achieve what you are supposed to.
How to Embrace Failure: Finding out why you are afraid to fail
There are events that happened in your life that led you to fear failure. Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all suffer from the fear of failing, and it is good to have it, as it protects us from disasters. But it can also take over you and make you overprotective about your actions. Ask yourself: What events have led me to feel this way when I face failure? Once you find them and understand them, you can rationalize them, which will help you fear failure less.
In that moment, you have to find the courage you need to get into the actions that will lead you to success. Courage is what will make you stand up for what you believe in and will lead you to where you want to be. It may be surprising to hear, but courage is like a muscle: You can train it by taking bolder decisions, one by one, and acting upon them.
A Major Change in the Way You Think
To embrace failure in order not to fail, is not a simple task. You have to rewire the brain in a new way, so that it analyzes and processes information differently. When you consider all you were taught in school, by your parents, and through TV and the internet; there is no doubt that all the accumulated culture inside you can make it hard to move beyond the fear of failure.
If your parents were part of the elite (individuals that go out into the world and are successful in all they do), chances are the pressure of succeeding makes you tetanized in front of failure. But if your parents just went about their day to day, without caring if they were going to realize something important in their life, you may not have any idea about the road to success. That can also lead you to fear failure.
But often, we know instinctively what we need to do in order to achieve our goals. It’s just that something is stopping us from breaking free and doing it. That thing is fear of failure. If you weren’t afraid, you would just start the process right away, as the idea gets in your head.
All that is uncomfortable, scary and difficult has to suddenly become evidence, a challenge and something surmountable. If you can look at what you fear and stare straight at it, you’ve taken the first step. If you start the process and take all the necessary actions to achieve your goal, you’ve taken the next step. If you don’t stop when it gets hard, then success is getting close to your reach.
You May Still Fail
Being able to go beyond the fear of failure does not mean you will succeed. It does indicate that chances are, even if you don’t reach your goal the first time, you’ll keep trying until you get there. Be proud, as you have gone beyond where most people will go during their lives. You have reached a level of certainty which enables you to give liberty to your desire.
But that does not confirm that you will never fear failure again either. Life is made of little hurdles; problems that you can sometime solve and others not. Some of them may bring this fear back, if they hurt you enough that you’ll avoid taking chances again (at least in that part of your life). Hopefully, you’ll be able to go through the whole process again and aim even higher the next time!