Trans4mind Home Page

Give It Up

By Karen Wright

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." This frequently quoted statement is said to have come from Jesus himself. But, your earliest exposure undoubtedly came from Mom and Dad whenever you selfishly focused on your own wants to the exclusion of others. Like when you wouldn't share your favorite teddy bear with your slobbering, ear-pulling cousin.

It echoes in my ears from yesteryears past and it continues to silently pit my sense of ownership against brotherly compassion. Of course, as a female, society had its own subtle way of molding my little mind into the ultimate giver. That, coupled with the hormonal predisposition to care for others, pretty much guaranteed that I'd feel good when I gave and guilty when I got.

Self-care was never valued. To do something because you wanted to was considered self-serving. To refuse another's request was selfish. Who do you think you are anyway? So many of us ignore our own needs and desires. We fill our lives with doing for others and never ask for help when we need it. We get embarrassed if someone notices how nice we look and twist the compliment into a self-effacing rebuttal. We'd rather chop off our right arm than faintly disappoint even our most loathsome enemy.

But is self-denial the path to happiness? No. If you're a dyed-in-the-wool giver, consider this. Giving and receiving are ultimately the same. Sure, it's impossible to give unless someone receives and it's impossible to receive unless someone gives. But the relationship between give and receive goes deeper. They are both about connecting.

Givers connect with the receiver when their gifts are received. Receivers connect with the giver when they accept the gift. Regardless of which end of the exchange we're on, it's the connection we long for. We want to know we have a place in this world and that we each matter.

Indeed, giving generously can be a magnificently satisfying act when it's consciously received. It's also incredibly deflating when it's rejected. Receiving can lift the human spirit when we truly let it touch us. But, receiving can be degrading when we feel unworthy.

If we truly understand the energy of give and receive, we'll take our focus off the object of exchange - whether it's a physical gift or a favor. What's important is the moment of connection when both the giver and receiver recognize their spiritual bond. We are not separate but one. You cannot give in the spirit of compassion without also receiving and you cannot receive in the spirit of gratitude without also giving.

Karen is author of The Sequoia Seed: Remembering the Truth of Who You Are, a great read for anyone who is seeking understanding or guidance, inspiration or clarity in his or her life.

Happiness
More Happiness & Wellbeing articles

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

We believe living a life that is just OK is not OK.
We believe that everyone, given the tools, can live a brilliant life!
Start off with your Free Life Assessment
   
Hypnosis Downloads

+ Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

The New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd