6 Ways You Can Be a Better Person Without Actually Changing Your Habits Too Much
By Sarah Williams
Let’s face it - we’ve spent a lot of time wishing we could change, deciding what to change first about ourselves and our lives, fearing change, dealing with the challenges in the first few days of forming a new behavior or ditching an old one, etc.
Yet, here we are, feeling stuck and not having changed much since our last attempt.
But what if we could achieve what we wanted without changing our habits too much? This is possible.
In fact, a few months from now you can become the best version of yourself and a more successful version of yourself without having to struggle with habit forming or breaking.
Below are 6 great ways you can get there:
1. Stop hanging out with the wrong people.
Life is meant to be spent with quality people around you. Sadly, you might need to take a closer look at your social circle so you can notice the toxic individuals.
That might be new friends who don’t bring out the best in you, old acquaintances who demotivate you or make you feel inferior to them. It could be relatives not believing in your progress and talking you out of your goals or even a partner that’s judging, complaining and controlling you.
But guess what? You allowed them in your life and you’re the one who can stop their negative energy from distracting you.
In fact, even research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard suggests that the people you spend most time with determine 95% of your success. That’s huge!
Once you begin to slowly remove such people from your life and instead surround yourself with positive and humble ones who are genuinely interested in you and use their energy to help others, you will begin seeing transformation in many aspects of your life that you haven’t experienced before.
2. Focus on gratitude.
Average people prefer to concentrate on what they lack in their life. They remember all their mistakes and relive the tragic events from the past, they find reasons why they can’t achieve a goal, they see the disadvantages of their job, and notice the bad sides of everyone around them.
A simple solution to such a negative mindset is gratitude. In fact, it can make us all better people in no time but only if we give it a chance. What’s so special about being grateful? The UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center found out that gratitude literally rewires your brain and body and makes you happier. The neurological effects being thankful has on our brains (such as relieving anxiety, coping with grief and stress, being mindful and peaceful) result in being healthier too.
Start thanking for all that’s around you. You can try journaling if you have a hard time in the beginning.
Gratitude can soon be your way of thinking and will become more powerful than the negative thoughts you’re used to. Once you begin appreciating everything so much, you will be kind to others and to yourself and will live a better life without even changing anything else.
3. Listen more.
A big part of being a better person is communicating in a more effective way and improving your relationships. One thing you can do to achieve both is to listen more.
The more you listen, the more you’ll hear. You’ll then find out that you haven’t really been talking to others in a meaningful way and have instead been focusing on your thoughts.
Listening allows you to observe people and the world around you, to give yourself time to respond, and to even get to know yourself better over time.
Start by not interrupting others when you feel like but letting them finish their thoughts. Make pauses during conversations and ask questions to encourage the other person to share even more so you can listen and understand them better.
4. Encourage yourself in the morning.
Getting up early and going to work is not always easy. And if you had to exercise, meditate, read a book, write your to-do list, answer email, have breakfast and clean at home, it would just be overwhelming and your performance later in the day will suffer.
But you don’t need to do any of that. You just need to support yourself more so you can believe in your ability to change.
Start by concentrating on your strengths. Each morning when you wake up write down a few things you’re good at or stand in front of the mirror and say the same out loud. It might feel weird in the beginning but over time that will boost your confidence and change will follow naturally.
5. Be assertive.
Do you agree with people all the time and try to please them? Or do you do the opposite, take the lead and decide and act without giving others a chance to speak or respecting their opinions?
Both of these are wrong. Instead, you need to be more assertive. To stand up for yourself but also be fair. To listen but also speak up. To not walk away from conflicts or cause them but try and solve them in a respectful manner so both parties can feel content.
Once you start practicing assertiveness, your life will become easier. You’ll start getting what you want more often and never offending anyone.
People will like you more as you’ll be direct and open. And you will feel in harmony because you won’t keep things for yourself anymore but will share it all, just in the most appropriate manner.
6. Find a mentor.
Last but not least, find that one person that can become your role model. Someone you can admire and learn from. They will then guide you to become your best self.
We don’t always know that person yet but we can look for him. If he’s not in your surroundings, maybe it’s someone you can follow online and get in touch with. Try to offer them value instead of just asking for help. Study their work and life. If it’s an entrepreneur, author, blogger or else, read anything they’ve written and learn from their mistakes and listen to their advice.
So that’s how you can easily become a better person and enter the most transformative period of your life without changing your habits too much.
Sarah Williams is a self-development writer and dating coach. Her mission is to help men of all ages create stronger, body and mind and use their full potential in social interactions. You can read more her thoughts on Wingman Magazine.